Forever In Love
by toria55
Summary: Gil Grissom is reunited with his true love
1. Chapter One - The Shelter

The call came in at 11:21 P.M.Â   
  
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There was a murder at The Shelter of Hope.Â  The Shelter was getting quite the reputation for the good work it was doing.Â  As a result, Gil Grissom was ordered to personally respond to the call.Â  He took  
  
Nick Stokes and Catherine Willows with him.  
  
The Vegas arm of the Shelter was the second chapter.Â  The first Shelter was started in Vermont, 19 years ago.Â  The Shelter specialized in helping homeless teenage girls learn to make a better life for themselves.Â  The girls all came from broken homes.Â  They were usually kicked out by parents that never wanted them.Â  They were girls that got involved with older men that didn't respect them.Â  They were used as prostitutes.Â  They were addicts.Â  But more importantly, they were young women who knew that The Shelter of Hope  
  
was the last chance they had to have any kind of a decent future.  
  
At the Shelter, they were taught that they may not be able to control their future, but they could control how they reacted to whatever came their way.Â   
  
The Shelter was located 25 miles east of the Strip.Â  It was an old ranch house that was donated to Sister Laura Ramsey.Â  Sr. Laura was the founder of the first chapter of The Shelter of Hope, in Vermont.Â   
  
Now she was in Las Vegas trying to help the throw-away girls of the west.Â   
  
Tonight, there was one girl that no longer needed her help, Maggie.Â  The auburn haired Maggie was found with bruises on her face, stab wounds in her back and fortunately for the CSI group, strands of  
  
black hair around her fingers.Â Â Â   
  
Maggie hadn't been at the Shelter very long.Â  The Shelter had made an agreement with the Las Vegas court that they would occasionally accept a girl from them.Â  That's how at 17, Maggie ended up at the Shelter.Â  What they learned about her, during the 94 days she was with them, was that during her short 17 years on this earth she spent the first 6 without a father, but with a mother who was an addict.Â  Then there was the stepfather.Â  For the first few years he only beat her occasionally.Â  Then she turned 14 and her mother was away from home at night.Â  The physical abuse progressed to sexual assaults.Â  By 15 she had enough.Â  She just left home.Â  No note.Â  No goodbye.Â  No one came looking for her.Â  She eventually found her way to Las Vegas and to Spike.Â   
  
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Spike was one of those guys that preys on girls that are down and out and desperate for a meal.Â  He taught her how to turn tricks.Â  Of course, he kept the money she made.Â  He explained to her that he gave  
  
her a place to sleep and he feed her.Â  What more did she want?Â Â   
  
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Then one day she was arrested.Â  She saw a beautiful pendant in the window of Foley's Pawnshop.Â  She had never owned anything of beauty.Â  She decided that she had to have it.Â  After all, the 63 year old pawnshop owner was one of her johns and he wasn't very good at getting aroused and he always took it out on her.Â Â   
  
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Bud Foley had an elaborate security system.Â  As soon as Maggie grabbed the pendant the alarm went off.Â  She ran out of the store.Â  He ran after her.Â  Just her luck, there were two bicycle cops riding  
  
by at the same time.Â  They caught her.Â  Unfortunately, even though all she wanted was the pendant, she actually grabbed more than one piece of jewelry.Â  Just enough for Foley to allege grand theft.Â  Now  
  
he could get his revenge on the little slut that couldn't make him feel young in bed.Â Â   
  
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Fortunately the judge knew Foley and suspected he knew Maggie, but not in a way that a 17 year girl should be known by the dirty old man.Â  There was something vulnerable about Maggie.Â  The judge decided to send her to the Shelter.Â  He knew this was her only chance of survival.Â   
  
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On the 94th day of her new life, Spike found her.Â  He wanted her back.Â  She refused.Â  She liked the opportunities at The Shelter.Â  She liked working for her keep.Â  She liked having people tell her she  
  
wasn't trash.Â  They made her realize she could live without selling her body to men.Â  They feed and sheltered her, and they didn't ask for anything in exchange, except that she learn to respect herself.Â   
  
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Spike laughed at her.Â  He tired to drag her out of the building.Â  She fought him.Â  She wasn't going.Â  She was never again going to let a man abuse her.Â  She started to scream for help, but he covered her  
  
mouth.Â  He had a bandana that he shoved into her month.Â  She didn't care; she kept on fighting.Â  This is when he hit her over and over again.Â  No woman ever disobeyed him.Â  Maggie was not about to succumb to his abuse anymore.Â  She hit him in the face with all the strength she could.Â  This took him by enough surprise that she was able to break away.Â  Unfortunately, he was right behind her and he was angry.Â  He pulled out his switchblade and stabbed her.Â  Still feeling the sting of her slap he continued to stab her until she was dead.Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
She was found at 10:45 P. M.Â  It was Maggie's night to clean up the Gather Room, after everyone else had gone to bed.Â  Gillian found her while making the final rounds of the evening.Â  It was always an  
  
uneventful routine.Â  She checked to be sure all the lights were off, the doors and windows were lock and that everyone was safely in bed.Â  They went to bed early at the Shelter because their days started  
  
early and were long and busy.Â  Gillian always did the last check of the evening because she liked the peaceful quiet of the night.Â Â Â   
  
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The police were called immediately.Â  The first police car was there by 11:00 P.M.Â Â  The crime scene investigators were notified at 11:21 P.M.Â  They were at The Shelter by 12:11 A.M.Â   
  
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Things would never be the same again. 


	2. Chapter Two - Crime Scene

Chapter 1 should have had the disclaimer, but I forgot. Her it is now and for all remaining chapters.  
  
Disclaimer - CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker and CBS Broadcasting Company.  This story is not intended to infringe on the copyrights of the original creators.  This story is written for  
  
entertainment purposes only and is not intended for profit in any way.   
  
Authors Notes: This was my first fanfic. It turned out longer than I thought, but I enjoyed doing it.  
  
Feedback is truly welcomed  
  
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Chapter Two - Crime Scene  
  
Officer Macnaroy was the first on the scene.  He called in the homicide detectives.  Jim Brass responded to the call.  Brass was greeted by Sr. Laura who filled him in on who Maggie was.  She also told him about Spike.  Spike was the only name she knew.  It was enough for Lt. Brass, the LV police were familiar with Spike.  Lt. Brass ordered an APB on him.  Spike was known to have long black hair, they could see the strands in Maggie's hand, that would be enough to at least bring him in for questioning.   
  
                                
  
Lt. Brass wanted to know who found the body.  Gillian was in the dormitory telling the other girls what happened.  She will join them in just a minute.  By this time the CSI team had arrived.  They were entering from the main entrance.  Catherine and Nick walked down the hall first.  They were anxious to get to the crime scene.  Gil was busy looking at the artwork hanging on the walls of the hallway.  Meanwhile Gillian had finished talking to the girls and was walking down the hallway towards the crowd that was building in front of the Gather Room entrance.   
  
                                 
  
Someone in the back of the crowd caught her eye, just as he turned to approach the crowd.  Gillian stopped cold in her tracks.  The color drained from Gil's face.  Upon seeing Gillian, Sr. Laura called her over and started to introduce her to Lt. Brass.  Gillian was still frozen in her tracks.  She only responded when Sr. Laura touched her arm.  "Are you okay?"     
  
                          
  
"Yes, yes, I am sorry, it's just that I wasn't expecting to see so many people."  Gillian replied.       
  
                            
  
Sr. Laura turned to Lt. Brass.  "Gillian Taubman this is Lt. Brass.  I explained to him that you were the one who found Maggie."   
  
                           
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
                     
  
"Can we go somewhere to talk?   I need to get your statement." Brass informed her.   
  
"I'll go with you."  Catherine offered.  
  
                             
  
She turned to look at Gil to be sure he didn't object.  "Go ahead," was all he said.   
  
                       
  
"Where will you be?" she asked.   
  
                          
  
At first he didn't answer.  "Gil?"  
  
                      
  
"Um…. Where was she found."   
  
                    
  
"In here," Brass informed him, pointing to the Gather Room. He then gestured for Gillian to follow him to another room where he could get her statement.    
  
                       
  
"I'll check out the room.  Nick you look outside where he entered." Gil instructed.  
  
                   
  
"Okay," Nick replied with concern.  "Are you okay?"  
  
                          
  
Gil realized he had to pull himself together before everyone knew more than he wanted them to know.  "Yes, I'm fine.  You check for footprints and fingerprints on the outside."   
  
                         
  
Sr. Laura started to enter the Gather Room when Gil stopped her.  He apologized for his abruptness and explained that too many people had already entered the room since the crime and that no one else would  
  
be allowed inside until he gave the clearance.  He didn't want anymore of the evidence tainted.  Sr. Laura said she understood and that she would be with Gillian and Lt. Brass.   
  
"Who?" he asked, with a bit of surprise in his voice.  
  
                     
  
"Gillian Taubman.  She was the one who found the bod… She was  
  
the one who found Maggie."  Sr. Laura explained.    
  
                       
  
"Gillian?"   
  
                
  
"Yes, is there something wrong?  Do you know her?,"  Sr. Laura asked, with some curiosity in her voice.    
  
                    
  
"No, no, it's…it's just a nice name."  Was all he could think to say.   
  
                         
  
Sr. Laura just gave a slight nod and walked away.   
  
                    
  
Gil then started to get to work.  The first thing he did was to take pictures of the body and remove some of the hair strands so that the body could be removed from the scene.  Once the body was gone, he did  
  
very little work.  His mind was racing.  He couldn't concentrate.  He can't get `Gillian' out of his thoughts, no matter how hard he tries.    
  
                          
  
Then the door opens and someone walks in closing the door quietly.  He doesn't turn around because he knows who's there.   
  
                    
  
"Hello Gil."   
  
                  
  
He stands up slowly.  
  
"It's good to see you again.  Your looking awfully good…..for a man of your age."  She added the last comment to try and lighten things up.   
  
                   
  
Although he hadn't said a word, by the time she was out of small talk, he was standing inches away from her.  At this point she found that she had backed herself into a wall and couldn't step back  
  
any further, even though he continued to move toward, her until they were toe to toe.     
  
                  
  
He just stared at her, trying to figure out if this was a dream or if she was real.  He's afraid that if he reaches out to touch her, she'll disappear.   
  
                  
  
"I know your there, somewhere," she said as she started to lose her breath,  "I can feel your breath on my face."  She looked into his eyes.  "Say something, please."   
  
                   
  
That's when he kissed her.  He kissed her with passion that had been inside him for all the years since he last held her.   
  
                          
  
The kiss lasted for what Cat & Nick thought was forever.  They didn't mean to act like peeping toms but they were working outside at the Gather Room window.  The window was open.  They were mesmerized by what they were seeing and hearing, not only was he kissing her but, he had worked his hands under her top and he was running his hands up and down her back.  Then they noticed that she had done the same thing.  She had pulled out his shirttail and had her hands over his back.  It was as though they had to feel as much skin as they could to believe they were both real and together.   
  
                     
  
When he stopped kissing her he rested his forehead against hers.  
  
                          
  
"We have to talk.  When can you get away," she wanted to know.   
  
                         
  
"Now," he said and started to pull her away.  
  
                     
  
She looked around.  "Are you done here?"  
  
                      
  
That's when he realized he had hardly done anything.  "We'll be done here in about an hour.  Meet me at my car. We'll go to my place."   
  
                     
  
"No Gil, it has to be somewhere public."   
  
                     
  
"Why?"  As fast as he asked the question, he knew the answer.  "Never mind.  How about the Denny's on Saga Blvd?"   
  
                     
  
"That'll be fine."  
  
                         
  
"I always knew I'd find you again."  Gil told her with a smile that brightened his eyes.  
  
                         
  
"I love you Gil, I've loved you forever."  
  
                      
  
"I loved you forever."  He said as he bent down to gently kiss her again.   
  
                     
  
They pulled away abruptly when they heard footsteps and voices in the hallway.  It was Brass and Sr. Laura.  Brass opened the door and was surprised to see Gillian in the room with Gil.  As Gil had said no  
  
one would be allowed in until he was done, Brass assumed he was.  Gil informed him that he wasn't and gave no explanation on why Gillian was allowed in the room.   
  
                         
  
At this point Cat and Nick raced in.  They said they were done with the outside.  Gil said he needed help in the room and he asked everyone to leave again.  Sr. Laura and Gillian left.  Brass stayed.  Cat and Nick could see that their boss had done very little, but they didn't say anything.  They just started to process the room. After five minutes Gil announced that he wasn't feeling well and was going home sick.  This was a pretty open and shut case.  They should be able to process things without him.   
  
                           
  
"Wait a minute," Brass exclaimed.  "The commissioner asked for you personally!"  
  
                       
  
"We've got everything under control," Cat said, knowing that Gil was not going to be of any use to them and he apparently had a very important appointment that he had to keep.  Cat and Nick knew things were serious because Gil didn't even inquire how they were going to get back to town, considering they drove out to The Shelter together.  
  
                            
  
Without Brass noticing, Nick peered out the window and saw Gillian and Gil drive away together.  Under his breath he smiled and said, "have a nice night boss."  
  
                        
  
The next day, Gil called in sick for the first time in his career. 


	3. Chapter Three - The Sick Day

Chapter Three - The Sick Day  
  
It was the start of their shift.Â  Cat and Nick were in the breakroom telling Sara and Warrick about their case the night before at The Shelter of Hope, when the receptionist walked in to give her a message. "Catherine, Mr. Grissom called earlier, he said he was taking a sick day and that you should take charge for the evening."Â   
  
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"Gris called in sick?Â  Oh my gosh," Sara said in disbelief.  
  
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Nick and Cat made eye contact.Â  Sara and Warrick noticed.Â   
  
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Warrick is just as surprised as Sara, about Gil Grissom being sick.Â  "What's up?"Â  he asked Catherine.Â   
  
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"What are you asking me for?"Â  she said innocently.  
  
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"I saw the look you two gave each other and I heard he left the two of you out at the Shelter to find your own way back."Â  Warrick said.Â  "That's two things that doesn't fit his profile. Leaving an investigation and calling in sick.Â  Then you two giving each other `the eye' when you get that message.Â  Something's up and if we're a team, I don't think we should be keeping secrets, if there's something wrong."Â Â Â Â Â   
  
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"Go ahead Cat, tell them."Â  Nick urged her.  
  
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"Okay, but we really don't know anything."Â  Giving emphasis on the word know.Â  Cat described the meeting in the hallway.Â  The kiss they observed.Â  What he was like just before announcing he was going home sick.Â  He wanted to go to his place but she insisted on somewhere public.Â  Nick saw them drive away together.Â  That was all she knew.Â   
  
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What she didn't know was what happened when they drove away from the Shelter.Â   
  
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Their first stop was the Denny's.Â  They didn't talk on the way over.Â  He parked the SUV and started to get out.Â  "Gil,"Â  she placed her hand on his shoulder, stopping him from existing. "Lets go to your place."  
  
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"Are you sure?"Â  he asked, afraid that she might change her mind again.  
  
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"I'm sure.Â  This is too important to talk about in public."Â   
  
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He turned the car back on and headed to his place.Â  He wanted to be able to see her face when they had their real talk, but in the meantime he couldn't help but to ask her about her name.Â  "By the way, Gillian, where did you come up with that name."  
  
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She smiled, "it was my way of keeping a part of you with me.Â  You don't mind do you?"  
  
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"No, of course not, but you'll always be Jenna to me"Â   
  
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It felt like it took forever to get to his place.Â  As he opened the door to let her in, he realized that he was nervous about being alone with her.Â  Once he let her in he saw a sadness in her eyes.Â   
  
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"Are you having second thoughts?Â  Do you want me to take you back to the Shelter?"Â  he asked with concern.Â  If she said yes, even though it would have been like a knife in his heart, he would have  
  
taken her back.Â   
  
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"No Gil, I'm exactly where I want to be."Â  She said as she rested the palm of her hand against his face to reassure him that she meant what she was saying.Â  SheÂ  pulled away and sat down on the couch. "It's just that so much has happened.Â  Maggie's dead and her death brought us together.Â  I feel guilty about that.Â  Plus," she said with a tried sigh as she noticed the time, "it's four o'clock in the morning, I've been up since 5:30.Â  I want to talk to you Gil, about everything, but I just don't have the energy."  
  
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"Come with me."Â  He said as he offered her his hand.Â  He took her up to his room.Â  He turned on a small table light before pulling the blinds so that the morning sun would not come into the room.Â   
  
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He went to his dresser and pulled out a tee shirt and a pair of jogging shorts that had a drawstring.Â  "Here, put these on and we can talk when you wake up."Â   
  
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She smiled remembering how truly kind he could be.Â  "Thank you," she said as she turned to go into the bathroom to change.Â   
  
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When she came out of the bathroom, he was gone. She walked out of the bedroom calling him.Â  He was on his way back upstairs.Â  "I was locking things up, downstairs."Â  He informed her.Â  "I'll be in this room, if you need anything," he said, pointing the room next to one he gave her.Â Â   
  
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"I do need something," she said.Â  "I need to fall asleep in your arms and to find you next to me when I wake up in the morning."Â   
  
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He walked back into his room with her.Â  He started to remove his clothes, then stopped, realizing what he was doing.Â  "Gil, it's okay,"Â  He smiled as he removed only his outer clothing.Â  He climbed into bed, with her, wearing a tee shirt and his boxers.Â   
  
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He wrapped his arms around her and she moved until she found just the right position in his arms.Â   
  
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"Tell me about her," Gil said knowing that talking about Maggie would help take some of the guilt away from Jenna.  
  
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"Oh, Maggie was wonderful.Â  When she first came to us she wouldn't talk to anyone.Â  After about 2 weeks she would offer a little comment at meals.Â  Her favorite activity was to make ice sundaes.Â  Every Saturday afternoon we have ice cream and she loved being the server."Â  Jenna realized she was rambling, but there was so much she wanted to share about Maggie and she loved that she was in Gil's arms just talking to him.Â Â  "Her goal was to get a job at one of the finer restaurants on the Strip.Â  She wanted to start in the kitchen and work her way up to top management.Â  I admired her for picking a goal that she could actually obtain.Â  Most girls would have wanted to start as the manager, but Maggie knew she could do it by working from the bottom up."Â   
  
Jenna turned and looked at him.Â  "Gil, will you be able to prove who killed her?"  
  
"I think so.Â  I don't think the killer went there planning to kill her.Â  He left a lot of evidence behind."Â  He continued on about the evidence that was found and how they would process it.Â  After a few minutes, he realized that she was asleep.Â  He held her and for the next hour or so, before he fell asleep, he planned their future. He was never going to let her go again.  
  
Gil woke at about 12:30 P.M.Â  Jenna was gone.Â  He panicked.Â  He jumped up and ran down the stairs calling her.Â  He stopped just before the bottom when he realized she was in the kitchen.Â  She came running.Â  He had sank down and was sitting on the step with his head in his hands.Â  She ran over and sat down beside him.Â  She was brushing her hand against his hair and asking what was wrong.Â   
  
After a few seconds he raised his head.Â  His eyes were filled with tears.Â  "What's wrong Gil?"Â  She asked with concern.Â   
  
He just looked at her, "I thought you had left me again."  
  
"Oh, Gil," she hugged him like she would a small child that had just skinned his knee.Â  "I was just trying to make breakfast for you. You know, it's not easy trying to figure out what's edible in your refrigerator."Â   
  
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He looked up, this time with a smile.Â  Then she added.Â  "Gil, I can't promise that I'll be here forever.Â  But I will promise you that if I have to leave again, I'll try and let you know ahead of time."Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"I am sorry that I hurt you so much," she said with a voice on the verge of tears.Â  Then she stood up and offered him her hand.Â  He was not sure what direction she intended to take him.Â  But to his delight, when he took the extended hand, she walked up the stairs.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
The room was still dark because of the pulled shades.Â  "I love you.Â  I've loved you forever," was all she said before she removed first the tee shirt that she was wearing and then his.Â  He kissed her again and while doing so he pushed down the jogging shorts she was wearing.Â  He pulled away long enough to remove his boxers.Â  Once they were both naked, she laid on the bed stretching her arms out to him.Â Â  He stood frozen wanting to remember every detail of this moment.Â  It was only seconds before he accepted the invitation she offered with her outstretched arms.Â  Together they reached an ecstasy that neither of them had ever experience before.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
After they were done.Â  They lay together with arms and legs entangled, neither of them wanting to separate.Â  "Gil," Jenna said in a nervous voice.Â  "I have to tell you something, I hope you believe me."Â  She paused only a second before telling him,Â  "All these years, there was never anyone else."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Jenna, you don't have to tell me that."Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"I know but I wanted you to know."Â Â  She then turned and looked at him.Â  "It breaks my heart, but I suspect that maybe it's been the same with you."Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He shrugged.Â  "There's been a few physical relationships, but never any emotional ones."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Because you were afraid of being hurt again?"Â  she asked, knowing she was the cause of his hurt.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Not just that," he answered, looking deep into her eyes, "but because I truly believed that we would be together again. And look at us now,"Â  He said as he tightened his grip around her.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
After a few more minutes of lying in each other's arms Jenna sat up and announced, "I'm starving and the food in your refrigerator stinks, in more ways than one.Â  Lets go get something to eat."Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Okay, but first I have to call the lab and tell them I wouldn't be in tonight.Â  And we need to check with the police department to be sure they aren't looking for you."Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"They aren't," Jenna told him confidently.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"How do you know?"Â  he asked.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Sr. Laura would have called if they wanted me."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"What!"Â  he shouted in complete disbelief.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"You heard me, Sr. Laura what have called if the police wanted me  
  
for anything."Â  She said nonchalantly.Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"She knows where you are?"Â  he asked, stunned.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"She knows all about me, Gil.Â  Everything."Â  Jenna enjoyed the surprised look he was giving her.Â  Then she added, "She's been my confidant for these last 18 years Gil, she's not about to let anyone know about us.Â Â  Someday, I want you to really meet her.Â  I know you'll fall in love with her just like I have."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
She then reminded him that she was still hungry.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
She didn't mention the butterfly's in her stomach.Â  They were there because she knew that time was running out and that soon they would have to talk about where she's been and more importantly  
  
what future they will have. 


	4. Chapter Four - On the Town

Chapter Four â€" On the Town  
  
While Jenna was taking a quick shower Gil called the switchboard at the CSI lab.Â  He considered calling Catherine's cell phone and telling her personally that he wouldn't be in, but he really didn't want to take a chance of having her actually answer the phone.Â  He was not ready to answer any of her questions.Â   
  
He was glad Betsy was at the switchboard when he called.Â  Betsy wasn't the type to ask a lot of questions.Â  He instructed her to give Catherine Willows a message when she gets in later in the day.Â Â  "Just tell her that I'm still not feeling well and I won't be in tonight and that she should take charge for the evening."Â   
  
By the time he was done with the call and picking out the clothes he would wear, Jenna was out of the shower wearing his bathrobe.Â  "That was fast," he commented.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"I told you I was hungry.Â  Now hurry up and get ready," she instructed him as she ran to the dryer to see if her clothes from yesterday were dry.Â  Knowing that she wasn't going to be able to stay in Gil's tee shirt and jogging shorts all day, the first thing she did in the morning was to throw her things in the washer.Â   
  
She had just turned on the dryer when Gil came running down theÂ  stairs looking for her earlier.Â  She was dressed and waiting for him when he came downstairs.  
  
"Wow, I'm impressed," he said commenting on how fast she got ready.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Hey, I live in a house full of young women.Â  The ranch doesn't have that many bathrooms, you learn to get in and out fast.Â  It helps to keep the peace."Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He smiled and led her out of the house.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Where to?" she asked.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"How about the Top of the World?"  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"The top of the world?Â  I thought you were afraid of heights."Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Hey, hey, my reputation, please. No one knows about that.Â  And besides," he added, only half convincing her, "I've pretty much gotten over it."Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He did take her to the Top of the World.Â  It was a revolving restaurant at the Stratosphere Tower, on the Strip.Â  The restaurant was 800 feet off the ground.Â  They were offered a seat at the window, but he said the middle of the room would be fine.Â  She laughed, and he elbowed her to be quiet.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
The food was delicious.Â  She had Chilean sea bass and he had steak.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
They talked all through their meal about nothing of significance.Â  Jenna told Gil all about life at the Shelter.Â  How they spend their days teaching the girls how to improve themselves and gain self-respect.Â  They help them with their reading and math skills.Â  They actually have two computers and they teach them how to work the different software programs.Â Â  Their goal is to help the girls find decent jobs so that they can be self supporting.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Gil told her about the first time he was at the Stratosphere, a few years ago.Â  It was to investigate the murder of one of the bartenders.Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
When they were done eating and the bill was paid, Jenna started to call for the down elevator, but Gil pushed the up button.Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
The High Roller was a roller coaster one hundred stories above the ground.Â  It was advertised to be the highest roller coaster in the world.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
When she saw it, she asked,Â  "Why are we here?"Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"What, you don't ride roller coasters any more?"  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Oh..., wait a minute..., are you telling me `you' ride roller coasters?"Â  she asked, suspiciously.Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"All the time," he informed her as though there would be nothing unusual about that.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
She was still suspicious of him considering he walked right to the end of the line, without buying tickets.Â  "Yea right, you know the ride operator and get on free."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Nope, I already have the tickets."Â Â  He pulled out his wallet and she saw that he had what looked like a dozen tickets.Â  She reached out and grabbed them from him.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"What is this?Â  You have tickets for all the coasters on the Strip?Â  You mean you really do ride them?"Â  she said in complete amazement.Â  "After all that trouble I had getting you to ride them with me?Â  What happened?"  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Before answering her he recalled the first time she made him ride a roller coaster.Â  It was the Revolution at Magic Mountain in California; it was a kiddie ride compared to the ones on the Strip.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Before he met her, he had never even been to an amusement park.Â Â  He tried to tell her that he had a fear of heights and could not ride it with her.Â  He remembered how she bullied him into riding by calling him a chicken as well as a few other childish names.Â  He finally gave in and rode it.Â  Just as he feared, he was sick when he got off the ride.Â  She on the other hand, was ecstatic.Â  He recalled the thrill she got from the speed and heights of the coasters.Â  Back then he just didn't get it.Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Well," she asked him again.Â  "How did you get hooked?"Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He told her that after she left he had no reason to ride them.Â  He remembered thinking, after he realized she was gone for good, that at least he would never again have to stand in line for an hour to take a joy ride that was only going to last a minute.Â  Then for reasons he never understood Vegas started to build roller coasters.Â  One night a few years ago, while investigating the murder he was telling her about, he saw the coaster and thought about her.Â  Something inside of him told him to ride it and he's been riding ever since.Â  He rides them whenever he has a difficult case and he needs to escape reality.Â  It relaxes him.Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"And besides."Â  He added, "it was my way of keeping a part of you with me."Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
She hadn't ridden a coaster since she left him.Â  She forgot about the thrill it gave her.Â  She made him promise to take her again soon.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
While they walked to his SUV he told her that they were going to ride every coaster on the Strip and then the ones on the outskirt of town.Â  After they wore out the coasters in Vegas, he was going to take her around the country riding roller coasters.Â  Their first stop was going to be Ohio.Â  They have some of highest and fastest coasters in the world.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
As they walked she listened to him described all the coasters on the Strip and the surrounding area and his plans to take her around the country.Â  She still couldn't get over the fact that they were together.Â  She pushed away all thoughts about what would happen next and she just listened to the sound of his voice.Â Â Â   
  
\  
  
On the way back to his place Gil stopped at a small market to pick up a few things so that they wouldn't have to go out again, too soon.Â  He said that tomorrow was his day off and they would do whatever she wanted.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
When they got back to his place, the first thing she had to do was to call Sr. Laura and let her know she was okay.Â  He told her to use the phone in his room.Â  When she came downstairs she was wearing his tee  
  
shirt and shorts from the night before.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
It was getting cold so he was getting a fire started.Â  He was kneeling at the fire, staring into.Â  He had turned off the lights and put on soft music.Â  She stood at the bottom of the staircase and just watched him as he worked the fire.Â  She was amazed by how truly handsome he was.Â  With the fire reflecting off his face, he was totally intoxicating to her.Â  After staring at him for a few moments, he looked up and noticed her.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked.Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Yes, everything's fine," she said as she walked over and sat in front of him.Â  "They arrested Spike.Â  They found the knife on him.Â  It still had blood on it.Â  I guess your lab's running tests to be sure it Maggie's blood."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Then she turned and looked at the fire.Â  "Mmm, the fire feels so good and the music is beautiful."Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He handed her a glass of wine.Â  They clicked their glasses together  
  
before drinking.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He placed his hand on her knee and said, "Thank you for today, everything's been perfect."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"No, I'm the one that needs to thank you," she said as she stood up on her knees.Â  He leaned forward to try and kiss her, but she motion for him not to.Â  Since the moment they met again he was doing everything to please her.Â  Now, she told him, it was his turn.Â  She moved behind him and started to massage his shoulders.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Your awfully tense," she whispered into his ear.Â  Then she reached in front of him and started to unbutton his shirt.Â  After unbuttoning the top few buttons, she rubbed her right hand across his chest while she gently nibbled on his ear.Â  She finally hit a spot that caused him to groan with pleasure.Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Jenn, I've loved you forever." she heard him whisper.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"I love you Gil," she answered, "I'll love you forever."Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Then she deliberately tore his shirt pulling it down off his shoulders.Â  She crossed in front of him, pushing him onto his back.Â  He couldn't move his arms because they were caught in his shirt.Â  She started to furiously kiss his neck, working her kisses down his torso.Â  He closed his eyes and groaned at the pleasure she was giving him.Â  She could feel his body flinch in anticipation of what was to come.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
When she unbuckled and unzipped his pants his body quivered at her touch.Â  He wondered what his pulse rate was.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Once she was done pleasing him, she slowly undressed for him.Â  She lay down next to him and invited him to love her, however he pleased.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
When he was done he laid his head against her chest, with his left hand he gently massage her breast.Â  They stared silently into the fire, watching the flames burn out, each deep in their own thoughts.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Then in a voice she barely heard, he spoke the words that she had been dreading,Â  "Tell me what went wrong Jenn." 


	5. Chapter Five - What Went Wrong

Chapter Five – What Went Wrong  
  
What went wrong Jenn?"  The question was spoken so quietly that she didn't know for sure if it was even spoken.   
  
                        
  
Where do I start, she wondered to herself.    
  
                    
  
Jenna grew up as Leslie Brenden, in Pittsburgh.  Her childhood was not a happy one, but not for the reasons that effected most of the girls who found their way to The Shelter of Hope.  Leslie's parents weren't drug addicts or alcoholics.  They didn't beat her. She was feed, clothed and educated.   
  
                             
  
The only thing missing from her childhood was love.  There was no love shared between her parents.  She never felt any love from either parent to her.  She never found out why there was no love.       
  
                                 
  
There were no rules to follow.  No curfews.  No one asked who her friends were.  No one checked her homework, attended school functions or her high school graduation.   
  
                            
  
When she moved out after high school she would come by for a visit once a week for the first few months.  Then it tapered off to once a month and eventually she just stopped visiting.   
  
                         
  
She kept track of her parents by checking the obituaries on the internet.  Her father died in 1992 and her mother in 1994.  She tried to mourn their deaths but she felt no sorrow for their passing.   
  
                           
  
While her mind raced back to her childhood Gil sat up and looked at her. He spoke again,  "Was it me Jenn, did I do something?"  
  
                          
  
She couldn't believe he would even think something like that.  She loved him with all heart and soul.  He was the first person that ever showed any genuine affection for her.   
  
                        
  
After he sat up, she got up and put on the bathrobe that she had been wearing earlier in the day.  Gil put his pants and torn shirt back on. He turned off the music and turned on a low beam lamp.  He sat in  
  
the corner of his couch waiting patiently for her to explain what went wrong.   
  
                       
  
Jenna paced the room before joining him on the couch.  She sat an arms length from him.  She turned to face him.  "No Gil, you didn't do anything wrong.  You were my whole world.  You gave me more love in the time we were together than I had ever experience in my whole life."   
  
                         
  
Then she told him about her childhood.   
  
                            
  
As bad as her childhood was, the events that occurred after she left home are what formed her destiny.  
  
She continued with her story.  He listened without judging her.    
  
When she moved out of her parent's home, her roommate was Kathy Duncan.  Leslie liked Kathy because she knew how to have a good time, but Kathy was ambitious.  She wanted to be rich.  Very, very rich.   
  
It was only after Leslie was in way too deep that she found out that Kathy didn't care what it took to reach her goal.     
  
                      
  
After they were rooming together, for about 6 months, Kathy started to see a man named Marcus Madden the president of Madden Enterprises.  The company was involved in the import-export business.  Leslie was told that he imported and exported diamonds and other gems.  Madden and Kathy were always traveling out of the country together.  Madden even hired Leslie to do courier work for him.   
  
The work at Madden Enterprises paid well.  Kathy and Leslie were able to move out of their one bedroom apartment into a bigger three bedroom apartment.   
  
                           
  
Madden was a smooth talker.  After Leslie worked for him for a few months, she realized that she did not like him.  He made her uncomfortable.  She also felt that he was cruel to Kathy.  
  
                       
  
One day Leslie went to Kathy and told her that she was going to move out of their apartment and she was quitting her courier position.  Kathy begged her to stay.  Leslie sensed fear in Kathy's plea, and so  
  
out of loyalty to her friend, she agreed to stay awhile longer.  
  
As a courier for Madden Enterprises, Leslie was required to travel. Most of her trips were to Miami, Florida.  Once while on a trip to Miami, she was arrested.  This is when she found out what Madden was  
  
importing and exporting.   
  
Madden Enterprises was a front for multiple illegal activity, including laundering drug money and exporting counterfeit money.  Leslie felt like such a fool.  She realized that Madden had been using her and Kathy.   
  
The FBI knew that Leslie Brenden was just a pawn in Madden Enterprises.   As a result, they offered her a deal.  They wouldn't prosecute her if she helped them get evidence against Madden and other members of his organization.   
  
They also offered to set her up in a whole new life.  They would relocate her somewhere that Madden or his associates would never find her.  She agreed.  A new life sounded wonderful to Leslie.  After all, what did she have with the life she had been living?   
  
Leslie was instructed to make copies of as many documents as she could.  She also kept track of who came and went at Madden Enterprises.  The most dangerous and damaging thing of all was that she recorded conversations Madden had with his business associates.  
  
After only 4 months Leslie had gathered enough information that the FBI was able to make their arrests.  With Leslie's testimony both Madden and 4 of his top aides were convicted of various crimes from  
  
tax fraud, to drug smuggling, to money laundering and counterfeiting.   
  
One of the most painful parts of all this is that Kathy was also convicted.  Through Leslie's pleading, Kathy was charged with only counterfeiting, a conviction that carried a minimum sentence of 5  
  
years in jail.  
  
                                   
  
During her testimony Leslie was kept in a safe-house, due to threats that she had received.  As soon as the conviction was rendered, she was sent away.   
  
That is how Jenna Tappen ended up in Los Angles in 1980.  
  
The FBI set her up in a modest apartment.  They made arrangements for her first year rent to be paid.  They also provided her with a two-year scholarship to attend UCLA.  She attended classes during the day  
  
and in the evening she worked in the maintenance department.     
  
It was while doing the maintenance work, which was basically cleaning up the classrooms, that she first noticed Gil Grissom.  He was one of the assistant instructors.  He would work late in the science lab.  He was always there when Jenna came into clean.  She would greet him and he would politely answer her in return, but he was always too busy with whatever he was working on, to really notice her.  
  
Then, by chance, she met him at the campus cafeteria.  He was reading some papers when he walked into the tray she was carrying, causing the soup and salad to spill all over her.   
  
He was so embarrassed by the mess that was made.  She tried to assure him that it was okay.  He asked what he could do to make it up to her and she suggested he take her out to dinner.  
  
Tonight, she told him for the first time, that he didn't walk into her.  It was a set up.  She was waiting for him.  She walked in front of him with the intention that he would knock the tray out of her hands.  Didn't he wonder why she wasn't burnt by the soup?   
  
"No, I never thought about it.  I was more embarrassed to have caused such a scene in front of so many people."  Then he laughed to himself, realizing that today that would have been one of the first things he would notice.  Why wasn't the victim burned by the soup?  
  
"What are you thinking Gil?"   
  
"That our relationship was a lie?"  he asked flatly.  
  
"No Gil, please don't think that.  Everything that happened from the minute the tray hit the floor was real.  That's when Jenna Tappen was born," she assured him.  "Everything that happened from that minute until I wrote you that letter, was an honest relationship.  I kept no secrets from you, except who I was."  
  
The letter.  He read it over and over until he finally tore it into pieces and threw it in the trash.   
  
`Dear Gil,   
  
I'm  sorry to tell you this, but I have decided to leave and I won't be coming back.  Please don't come looking for me.  Our relationship really wasn't intended to last forever.  I hope you  
  
find someone that will love you more than I did.   
  
Good bye, Jenna.'  
  
"When I saw you yesterday."  She paused realizing that they have only been reunited for twenty-four hours.  "Oh my gosh Gil,  it seems like we've been together again for a lifetime, but it's only been twenty-four hours."  She shook her head in disbelief.  Then she continued.  "When I saw you yesterday.  I didn't know how you were going to react.  I expected you to be angry and lash out at me and I would have deserved it.  But, when you kissed me…."  She couldn't continue.  A lump of emotion lodged in her throat. "When you kissed me…I, I… Oh Gil, I'm so sorry I hurt you."  And then she started to cry. "I love you.  I have loved you forever."  She buried her face in her hands and for the first time since the night she left him, she cried.    
  
Gil slid over and put his arms around her.  He rocked her, telling her that all that matters is that they were together now.  She held onto his arm, not wanting to let go.   
  
Finally she was able to stop crying.  Their was still more story to be told.  She still hadn't told him what caused her to leave.  After a few minutes in his arms, Jenna turned to face him again.  She kissed him on the cheek.  "I can go on now."  
  
He reached out and cupped her hands between his, "Jenna if you don't want to go on right now, it can wait."  
  
"No, you've waited long enough.  I want to tell you everything."  
  
"Everything was going so well.  We were happy weren't we?"  she asked him for reassurance.   
  
"Very," he said as he kissed her hands.  
  
She took a deep breath and continued, "One of Marcus' men found me.  He saw me working at the bookstore."   
  
Jenna had switched jobs and was working at an off campus bookstore.  "It turns out that he had been watching me for a few days and had followed me home to our place.  He approached me one day.  He knew all about us.  He told me that he had been in contact with Marcus and Kathy.  Kathy said she was anxious to renew our friendship, so he gave her our address.  He also said that Kathy said that as long as she couldn't be with the man that she loved, then there was no reason that I should be with anyone either.  I called the FBI right away.  They insist I leave.  They said that Madden was causing all sorts of trouble in jail and that Kathy had tried to escape and was making threats.  They said that staying would not be safe for either you or me.  They gave me 24 hours to get things together."  
  
"That's when I was moved to the shelter."  She told him. 


	6. Chapter Six - Why Didn't You Tell Me

Chapter Six – Why Didn't You Tell Me  
  
He had no problem accepting her story to this point.  In his career, he had meet a lot of people that made certain decision early in their lives, decisions that followed them for the rest of their lives.  The problem was, why didn't she tell him any of this when they were together?  Why didn't she ask him to go with her?  Why didn't she realize how much he loved her?  
  
As he thought about it, he concluded that it was his fault.  Usually when his relationships went wrong, it was his fault.  The reason was always the same; he never let the lady know how he really felt.   
  
It wasn't because he didn't want to share more; it was just that he didn't know how.  He thought things were different with Jenna.  With her, he never had a problem saying, `I love you'.   
  
He stood up and looked down at her sitting on the couch.  "Jenna, you had twenty-four hours.  Why didn't you tell me?  Why didn't you ask me to go with you?  Didn't you believe me when I said I loved you?"  He realized he was getting angry.  He was angry.  He loved her and she had no right to leave him the way she did.  
  
She looked up at him, "Gil, how could I ask you to go?  Think about what was happening back then."  
  
"What?" He had no idea what she was talking about.  They were young and in love, just getting started.  They had plans.  Then he remembered.  He turned and walked away.  He sat down in a chair that was on the other side of the room.    
  
"How could I ask you to choose between her or me?"  Jenna stayed on the couch, resisting the urge to run over and put her arms around him.  
  
"It wasn't your decision to make," he said, flatly.  
  
         
  
"It wasn't my place to put such a burden on you.  Gil, your mother was dying.  You were all she had. How could I ask you to leave her and go away with me?  And besides, back then, I had no self-esteem.   
  
I truly believed that after a few months you would forget about me and move on with your life.  You see, I had never been loved before and couldn't believe that anyone could love me, like I imagined you did."  
  
          
  
"You should have told me," he repeated.  
  
        
  
"Did she hate me?"  Jenna asked, afraid to hear the answer.  
  
       
  
"No, of course not," he said, remembering the first time he saw his mother after Jenna had left.   
  
             
  
She was sleeping when he came to visit her at the hospital.  He sat down and stared out the window, waiting for her to wake up.   
  
         
  
When he turned around he saw that she had been watching him.  "Is Jenna with you?"  she signed, already knowing the answer.  
  
           
  
"She's not here right now," he signed back.    
  
          
  
"She's gone isn't she?"   
  
          
  
"That's what her note said.  You knew she would leave me, didn't you?"  
  
          
  
She held her arms out to her only child.  He stood up allowing her to embrace him.   
  
         
  
"I miss her," Jenna told him.   
  
           
  
"So do I," he answered.  
  
          
  
"When did she die, Gil?"  
  
          
  
"She went into remission a few months after you left.  She did really well for about two years and then the cancer came back.  After that, it was over in just a few weeks."  He paused, remembering the suffering she went through during the last few weeks of her life.  Then he added, "She was ready to go."  He knew that Jenna loved his mother and he wanted to give her some comfort to ease the news of her death.   
  
         
  
Jenna did love her.  Gil's mother was very loving to her.  She gave her the motherly love that she never experience with her own mother.  Jenna remembered fondly the times the three of them were together.   
  
She remembered how much Gil loved and cared for her.  Even though it looked to the outside world that Gil was in charge and was taking care of his mother, in reality, his mother was always making sure that he had whatever he needed and she worked hard at protecting him from the hardships that life had always thrown at them.  
  
           
  
She told Jenna about his childhood.  Gil grew up in a time when society wasn't tolerant of people with handicaps.  She told her stories of how the children at school would make fun of her and how much it hurt Gil to hear their taunts.  He dealt with it by living an isolated life.  He had very few friends growing up and the few he did have, he never allowed them to get very close to him.   
  
         
  
He was always fascinated by nature.  He would go off by himself for hours.  He liked to go into the woods and dig up bugs and then go off to the library to research them.   
  
           
  
Jenna remembered the night of her 25th birthday.  He was going to ask her to marry him.  Gil's mother knew what he was planning to do.  She talked to Jenna before Gil arrived.  She told Jenna what he was planning.  She also told her that she needed to think really hard before accepting his proposal because if the relationship wasn't going to last, his mother believed that Gil wasn't emotionally capable of coping with the loss.  
  
          
  
Thinking of his mother, and her death, still hurt, so Gil changed the subject.  He asked how Jenna ended up in Las Vegas.  
  
         
  
"Well, that's not such a bad story.  When I left I was sent to the Shelter in Vermont.  Sr. Laura was the sister of the FBI agent that was in charge of my case.  I was only suppose to stay there for a few weeks.  I hated it when I got there.  It was in the middle of nowhere.  It was cold and there were no comforts of home.  The sisters worked all day and the girls, well, they were just a bunch of screw ups and I didn't want to have anything to do with them."  Jenna paused to remember those first few weeks.   
  
         
  
"After awhile I got so that I liked the solitude and when Agent Ramsey came to get me, I asked if I could stay a few more weeks.  Sr. Laura said I could, but I would have to work for my keep.  She put me in charge of the kitchen.  I actually had to supervisor these girls that didn't have enough common sense to know how to peel a potato.  I hated it.  I kept thinking that I wasn't much older then they were and I was able to take care of myself.  I resented having to take care of them."   
  
          
  
"Sr. Laura knew that I had an attitude and that I thought I was better than those girls.  She would hit me with guilt trips.  She would tell me bits and pieces of the girl's history and when I was acting really snotty, she would throw little subtle reminders at me on why I was there."  She laughed to herself remembering how truly awful she was during those first months.  
  
           
  
"After the girls were in bed I would sit outside listening to the sounds of the night.  It was so peaceful out there.  Sr. Laura would come out and talk with me.  All she knew about me was that I was in  
  
the witness protection program.  She figured out that there was someone I was missing and could never be with again.  She helped me to cope with both the guilt and hurt I had.  The next thing I knew,  
  
it was 10 years later and I had a degree in child psychology.  Talk about being blind sided.  All I wanted was to say a few more weeks then originally planned."  
  
              
  
"About two years ago, Bryan Greenwood died and left Sr. Laura his ranch. He also left her a financial grant.  He wanted her to come out to Vegas and start a Shelter of Hope out here.  He knew us because his daughter Rebecca was a resident of ours at one time.  She straightened her life out and moved back home to Vegas.  She's married now and living in Florida with her husband and three children.  She's on our Board of Directors."    
  
        
  
"It took awhile to get all the permits that we needed and a program in place.  Sr. Laura's been her for about 14 months.  I moved out here about 7 months ago.  It was hard to leave the security of Vermont.  And to be so close to California, where I thought you still were."  
  
          
  
Now it was her turn to ask how he ended up in Vegas.   
  
           
  
His story wasn't as dramatic or complicated as hers.  "About a year after you left I was asked to consult on a crime scene where the evidence involved some strange insects that turned out to have been native to Argentina.  I found the work interesting and the next thing I knew I was living in Vegas and doing consulting work for the police and eventually working for them."   
  
          
  
Now that they've come full circle and all the secrets are out, it was time to figure out where to go from here.  
  
          
  
They decided that it was getting late and they could figure that out in the morning.  They went upstairs to bed. 


	7. Chapter Seven - Our Future

Chapter Seven – Our Future  
  
When Gil woke up the next morning he saw that Jenna had been watching him.  
  
"Good morning!"  she greeted him.  
  
"Good morning," he answered back.  
  
Jenna had been awake for about 20 minutes, but she did not want to have him wake with the same reaction he had the day before, so she waited for him to wake up.      
  
"So what are we doing today?" he leaned up on his elbow and asked her.  
  
"Well," she hesitated with her answer. "I really need to go to the Shelter and see how things are going.  You know Maggie's death will be hard for some of our girls to cope with."  
  
Worrying that Gil would be disappointed, she continued, "I know you were expecting us to spend the day together, but I really need to check on things over there.  You aren't too disappointed, are you?"  
  
"No, of course not," he assured her. "I'll take you back whenever your ready."  
  
             
  
"Your wonderful," she said as moved to kiss him on the cheek.  "You should really hate me for all I put you through."  
  
"How could I hate you?  You said I brought love into your life, but you're the one that taught me how to love."  He said as he kissed her back.   
  
"We'll just need to figure out a schedule on when we can see each other.  You don't have to live at the Shelter, do you?"  And as though it was an instruction he told her, "You can move in here.  We'll get you a car so that you can continue working."  
  
                
  
"Gil, slow down," she cautioned him.  "Our relationship can't go public.  We're in a lot of danger.  Those people don't forget.  Remember, I sent them to jail and caused them to lose their fortunes.  Marcus is serving a life sentence because of a murder he committed while in jail and Kathy, we don't know where she is, but she knows who you are and she has probably been watching you."  
  
                  
  
She saw that he wasn't taking her seriously.  She had to convince him that this was a serious situation.  "After I left, Kathy sent me a letter that the FBI intercepted.  She swore we would never be happy together.  She said she would always be watching for me to return."  Jenna was getting nervous just thinking about Kathy and her threats of revenge.  "Even if it's been over 20 years, Kathy was never the type to forgive and forget, we have to be careful."  
  
"Okay, okay," he said trying to calm her down.  "I know people at the FBI.  I'll ask them to run a check on her and the others that were arrested."  
  
"You do that Gil.  We need to find out where they all are before we can make any plans."   
  
"Wait, Jenna," he said, realizing where she was headed, "your not implying that we have to stay apart until they're located, are you?"   
  
"I don't know Gil, but I am scared.  They're ruthless people."  She laid down next to him.  She was scared and she wanted the safety of his embrace.  
  
Gil held her tight.  He could feel her trembling and knew that she really was scared, but not seeing her on a regular basis was not something he was going to accept.  Her problems with the Madden gang were over 20 years ago.  Then he realized that he'd seen promises of revenge carried out years after the threat was delivered.  He was beginning to realize that her fears maybe legitimate.  
  
After they dressed and had breakfast, Gil drove Jenna back to the Shelter.  His next stop was the FBI.  He had called Bryan Conrad and asked if he would see him as soon as possible.  Bryan was one of the few people Gil considered to be a friend and not just a business associate.   
  
Bryan was the person responsible for his being in Vegas.  Although they didn't see each other much any more, Bryan owed Gil a favor from years earlier when he helped save Bryan's marriage.  Bryan's  
  
wife, Cassie, left him because of a brief affair that was over long before she even found out about it.  Through Gil's efforts Cassiegave Bryan a second chance.  Gil told Bryan that that was his one and  
  
only chance at screwing up his marriage.  Less than a year after they reunited Cassie gave birth to their third child, a daughter.  They asked Gil to name her.  He told them he always liked the name Jenna.       
  
Gil trusted Bryan enough to tell him everything.  Bryan assured him that he would do whatever it took to keep Gil and Jenna safe.   
  
The first thing he did was to try and determine where all the major players were today. He reported back to Gil three days later.  Kathy Duncan was nowhere to be found, but there was no doubt that she was  
  
dangerous.  There was also strong evidence that she had been in Vegas and may still be there.  While Marcus Madden was in federal prison, Duncan was his only visitor.  She no longer visited because Madden was dead.  He was executed by a group of prisoners, two years earlier.  They're fairly certain it had something to do with drug trafficking and they suspected that Kathy Duncan was involved.  His  
  
funeral was the last time Duncan has been seen.    
  
When Gil shared this information with Jenna, she panicked.  She said she would have to leave Vegas immediately.  Her first plan was to run back to the Shelter in Vermont.  Gil sat her down and reminded her of the promise that she made, about not leaving him again.  He assured her that he would figure something out.     
  
Gil talked to Bryan, and the final conclusion was that if they truly wanted to be safe, they would have to leave Vegas under another witness protection identity.  But, this time it was going to be difficult to convince the authorities to give Jenna a third identity.  Gil told Bryan to tell whoever was in charge that he would be willing to pay for their new identity.  Bryan told him that would help, but may not be enough.   
  
Finally, after waiting for three weeks, they got the word that the FBI would be willing to relocate them, but it would take a few months to get everything in place as they were not a top priority.   
  
They were advised to continue their life as normal, not to change any of their routines.  They did the best they could, but it was hard for Gil to be away from Jenna.  He continued working the same night shift.  He did make two small changes, he actually stayed away from the lab on his day off and he took vacation days.  
  
On the days away from work he would drive out to the Shelter and pickup Jenna.  They explored Las Vegas together.  They made trips to the desert.  Gil shared with her his fascination with the creatures  
  
of the desert.  They hiked through Red Rock Canyon and spent the night camping under the sky.  At first Jenna was self conscious about making love in the `great outdoors' but soon she realized that he was truly taking her to places that no one ever came to, except him.   
  
Also, just as he promised her on the first day they were together, they rode all the roller coasters Vegas had to offer.  Their favorite was still the High Roller, mostly for sentimental reasons.   
  
It took over five months, but they finally got the word from the FBI that they would be moved in 2 weeks.    
  
Even though the plans had been in the works for months, Jenna was still concerned about their moving.  Gil was going to leave his home and career to go somewhere that neither of them would have any input in choosing.  He was no longer going to be able to do the work he loved so much.  She kept asking him if he was sure he wanted to do all this.   
  
"Jenna, listen to me.  I love you.  I've loved you forever and I will love you forever.  I'm making this choice of my own free will.  My eyes are wide open.  My dedication to my job was what I had to do to survive from one day to the next.  Now that dedication is devoted to you.   You're all that I want out of life.  I hope they send us somewhere where the people don't know a entomologist from a ophthalmologist.  
  
"What about the people you work with.  What are you going to tell them?"  
  
He looked her in the eye and without any hesitation, he said, "Nothing.  The rules for a safe departure are that no one knows.  You just don't show up for work the next day."  
  
"But Gil, they're investigators they could come looking for you."   
  
"I've already talked to Bryan about that.  He'll block their activity," he assured her.  Then he added,  "Then a few months from now he'll tell a few designated people enough to assure them that I'm okay."   
  
For the first time since all this started, Jenna started to relax and was excited about their future.  Maybe they could pull it off.  The first two moves proved satisfying, why shouldn't this one be just  
  
as rewarding? 


	8. Chapter Eight - The Rescue

Chapter Eight â€" The Rescue  
  
"Willows." Catherine was at her desk finishing up paperwork, when the phone rang.  
  
"Ms. Willows, I'm not sure if you remember me, I work out at The Shelter of Hope, my name is Sr. Laura."  
  
"Of course, I remember you. What can I do for you?" Catherine couldn't imagine why she was calling.  
  
"Have you heard from Gil Grissom lately?"  
  
"No, he had the day off yesterday and he's not in yet today.Â  He should be here by now though." She answered realizing what time it was.  
  
"He's usually there by this time?" the caller asked nervously.  
  
"Yes. Is there something we should be concerned about?" Catherine wanted to know.  
  
"Ms. Willows, if he doesn't shows up tonight, will you call me?"  
  
"Why do you think he wouldn't be here?" When the caller didn't reply Catherine continued, "Listen, we figured out a long time ago that he's seeing that psychologist from your Shelter. We also know that they knew each other long ago." Then she demanded an answer to her original question, "Why do you think he won't be here?"  
  
"Well, I might just be worrying for nothing, but she calls me on a regular basis, and I haven't heard from her in two days."  
  
Sister Laura knew that Jenna and Gil were leaving, but they had set up a simple code for when her last call was to be made. She would end the conversation with the words, `good-bye for now.'  
  
There was something in the nun's voice that told Catherine that she was truly concerned that something was wrong. "Alright, I'll try calling him and if he's not here in 15 minutes, I'll drive over to his place."  
  
"Ms. Willows, promise me one thing,"  
  
While she hesitated with completing her sentence Catherine asked impatiently, "What?"  
  
It was hard for her to say the rest, "Don't go by yourself."  
  
"What?" Why would she say that, Catherine wondered.  
  
"Please take someone with you and be cautious." Sr. Laura instructed her and this time there definitely was fear in her voice.  
  
Catherine wanted to find out more about why Sr. Laura felt something was wrong, but she had to end the call as Nick and Sara walked in. "Okay, I'll be careful. I'll call back," then she hung up.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sara asked.  
  
"Nothing, I just have a few calls to make. Has anyone heard from Gris, yet?"  
  
"No, I didn't know he wasn't here. What's up?" Sara asked again.  
  
"Nothing, I said." Catherine answered, annoyed at being questioned by the younger woman. She then grabbed her cell phone and left her office.  
  
The phone rang and his voice mail came on. She didn't bother to leave a message. She called his house and there was no answer. That's it she said to herself, something's wrong. She went and found Jim Brass. She told him about the call from Sr. Laura. He agreed that they needed to get to Gil's. They also realized that they maybe panicking and Gil would be furious with them if nothing were wrong, so they decided not to tell the others what was going on.  
  
Fortunately a call came in and Catherine was able to direct Sara, Nick and Warrick to handle it. She told them she had a personal emergency that she had to take care of. Sara asked her where Gris was.Â  Cat said that she would track him down and let him know where everyone was.  
  
The team pulled away and Sara looked out the window just in time to see Cat and Lt. Brass get into the backseat of a patrol car and drive away. She didn't know what, but she knew something was wrong. She felt it deep inside.  
  
Nick was sitting beside her and asked what was wrong.  
  
"Nothing, I hope."  
  
"What?" Nick asked her.  
  
"Catherine's hiding something from us." Was her answer as she continued to stare out the window.  
  
When they got to their crime scene Warrick could see that Sara was preoccupied with figuring out what Cat was up to.Â  He stopped her and told her, "if something's happened that we need to know about, they'll tell us when its time. We have a job to do here."  
  
"And I'm doing it," she snapped back at him.  
  
It seemed like it took forever but Cat and Brass finally made it to Gil's place. They got out of the patrol car and noticed that Gil's SUV was parked in the driveway and there was a light on in the house. They knocked, but no one answered. They tried the door.Â  It was locked.  
  
"Well, what do you wanted to do?" Brass asked, not wanting to be the one to make the decision to break into Gil's place, as he was trying to pretend that nothing was wrong.  
  
"Something's wrong Jim," She told him. "Look, the lights are on, he's not at work, he doesn't answer his phone and his car is here. We need to break in."  
  
At that point one of the officers called Lt. Brass over to the window. The shade was pulled, but if you looked at just the right angle, through a break in the window covering, you could see that there was a lamp tipped over on the floor. That was all that Brass needed to see. He ordered the officers to break in.  
  
Cat & Jim were in shock once the door was opened. There were 3 bodies lying on the floor. Gil was tied to a chair that had tipped over. It was clear that he had been beaten. They recognized the woman from the Shelter.Â  They didn't recognize the third woman.  
  
Cat ran over to Gil to see if he was alive. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his weak pulse. At least he was alive.  
  
Brass checked on Jenna. She had what appeared to be a gunshot wound to her abdomen. She had clearly lost a lot of blood.  
  
Then Brass went and checked on the unidentified woman.Â Â  He determined that she was dead.Â  It appeared as though she had been hit with a fireplace poker and had been stabbed.  
  
The patrol officers called for EMS assistance.  
  
Brass came over to see how Gil was doing.Â  He removed the tape that was placed across his mouth. One of the patrolmen gave him a utility knife to cut the wires that bound Gil to the chair.  
  
While doing this Jenna moaned, calling out Gil's name. Catherine ran over to her.  
  
She was so surprised when Jenna called her by name. "Catherine, how's Gil?"  
  
"He's alive. Take it easy were getting you help."  
  
Jenna winced in pain and grabbed Cat's arm. "Tell him I love him, that I've loved him forever. Promise me you'll tell him." Jenna tightened her gripped on Cat's arm due to the pain that shot through her and because she wanted Cat to promise to deliver her message.  
  
Cat's reply to her was, "You just take it easy, you can tell himÂ  yourself in a little while."  
  
"Ahhhgg," she winced again and closed her eyes.  
  
In another minute the EMS was there. The paramedics did their jobs. After 10 minutes of triage work, they left with two victims. The unidentified woman's body was left at the scene of the crime.  
  
"We need to get someone in here to investigate this crime scene Catherine," Lt. Brass said, getting back to business. Realizing that Catherine was too concerned about Gil to do her job, he suggested, "Cat you go to the hospital with him, I'll stay here. I'll call in Ecklie's team to investigate."  
  
"No!" Catherine yelled at him. "No, Gil's team will take care of this." She looked at the Lieutenant for support, "I need to call them, don't I?"  
  
Cat was confused. Someone needed to be at the hospital with Gil. She wanted to be there, but she also knew that he would want her to find out what happened. Then she thought about Sara, she knew that Sara would want to be at the hospital.  
  
Her first call was to Sr. Laura. "Are they okay?"  
  
"They've been taken to Desert Spring Hospital."  
  
Sr. Laura didn't ask for details. She said she would get over there right away.  
  
The next call was harder to make. She called Warrick. The trio had finished their assignment and were headed back to the lab.  
  
"Hey Catherine, Gil never showed up, what's up?" Warrick asked.  
  
"Warrick, where are you now?" Catherine wanted to know.  
  
"We're on our way back to the lab." He could tell by the somberness in her voice that something was wrong.  
  
"Listen," she stopped to regain her composure. "Take Sara over to the Desert Spring Hospital, then you and Nick get over here to Gris'"  
  
"What happened Catherine?" He asked as he changed directions so that he was headed for the hospital.  
  
"They were attacked. There's one unidentified dead body and two victims have been transported to the hospital."  
  
"Who's at the hospital?" Warrick inquired.  
  
"Gil and the woman from the Shelter. I think her name is Gillian Taubman."  
  
"How is he?" Warrick said lowering his voice so that Sara couldn't hear.  
  
"Have Sara find out and call us." Catherine instructed him.  
  
"Okay we'll be there in 15 minutes." He told her.  
  
"It's Gris, isn't it?" Sara demanded to know. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
Warrick gave Sara the instruction he received from Catherine. "Cat wants me to drop you off at the hospital so that you can find out.Â  Then, call us with an update as soon as you know anything about how he's doing.Â  You also need to find out how his friend from the Shelter is doing.Â  They were attacked at his place.Â  Sounds like their attacker was killed.Â  Nick, you and me are going to Gris' to help with the investigation."  
  
Even though Sara's first reaction was that she wanted to be a part of the investigation, she realized that finding out about Gil was more important to her. They dropped her off at the emergency entrance and raced to Gil's.  
  
When they got there the police were on the street keeping the crowd away. They moved aside for Nick and Warrick as they knew who they were. Once inside, they got to work following Catherine's every  
  
instruction.  
  
One of the police officers called Lt. Brass outside, as there was someone who said he had some information for him. After a few minutes Brass reentered the house with Agent Conrad. He had a photo  
  
of a woman and they all agreed that the body was the woman in the photo.  
  
Brass told the investigating team that their victim was an ex-con named Kathy Duncan. She was known to have threaten the life of Leslie Brenden, AKA Jenna Tappen, AKA Gillian Taubman.  
  
With the information supplied to them by Agent Conrad, the Team learned that Gil referred to his lady friend as Jenna and so they all agreed that they would also.  
  
Then Catherine's phone rang. It was Sara. The doctors are pretty sure that Gil will pull through. He appears to have a concussion, a couple broken ribs, a fractured kneecap, a dislocated shoulder and he was suffering from dehydration.  
  
Jenna wasn't doing as well. She lost a lot of blood from the gunshot wound to her abdomen. There appears to be kidney damage. They have her on a respirator. If she lives through the next 72 hours, then  
  
there's hope for her. 


	9. Chapter Nine - The Crime

Chapter Nine â€" The Crime  
  
The investigation with fairly simple as the suspect hadn't had time to cover up her tracks.Â  By the footprints left outside, the investigators were able to determine that Duncan waited in the bushes next to the front door, for someone to come home.Â  The gun found at the scene was unregistered.Â  They worked under the assumption that the gun belonged to the assailant.Â  There was a bottle of chloroform found on one of the tables.Â  Although Gil Grissom would have had access to this item, given the crude container that it was, it was more likely brought in by Duncan as a means to overpower her two victims.Â   
  
Jenna arrived home first.Â  There were groceries out on the table.Â  The receipt from the store shows that she made her purchase at 7:30 PM.Â  If she went straight home, then she was home by 8:00PM.Â  She was  
  
most likely surprised by Duncan and forced into the house by gunpoint and then chloroformed before being tied up.  
  
The records from the crime lab show that Gil Grissom left work at 5:00 AM.Â  There was no indication that he made any stops on the way home.Â  He would have arrived home at 5:20 AM.Â  A future physical exam of him, among other injuries, would find a lump on the back of his head.Â  He was most likely struck from behind upon entering his home.Â  Once on the ground Duncan overpowered him with the chloroform.Â Â Â   
  
He was then tied to a chair with electrician wires.Â  They thought that was an odd item to use to tie someone up with.Â  Later they would find out that electrician wire is what was found around Marcus Madden in his execution.Â  They concluded that Duncan was going to inflict the same injuries and death onto Gil Grissom, as had been done to her boyfriend, and she was going to have the pleasure of having Jenna watch the torture.Â   
  
What she didn't count on was that Jenna would free herself and stop Duncan from completely succeeding in her bizarre attempt at revenge.Â Â Â Â   
  
Jenna's fingerprints were found on a fireplace poker.Â  It was evident that Duncan had been struck with it.Â  Jenna then ran to free Gil, but while attempting this, Duncan regained consciousness and shot her.Â  Jenna used the knife that she grabbed to free Gil, to attack Duncan again, this time killing her.Â  Due to her own injury, Jenna collapsed before having a chance to call for help.Â   
  
They determined that Gil's chair fell over while he attempted to free himself.Â  When he fell, he struck his head on a table, knocking himself out. The wires were securely tied.Â  It was unlikely that anyone could have gotten free.Â Â Â   
  
A background check of Kathy Duncan and a search of her apartment, found that she had in fact been keeping tabs on Grissom, just as Jenna feared.Â  There was newspaper articles found about him as well  
  
as photos that she must have taken of him.Â  They found that Duncan was living under the name of Cathy Dillon.Â  They found her passport.Â  She had been out of the country for the last 8 months.Â  The FBI was  
  
able to determine that she was a silent partner in a diamond smuggling ring that they had been trying to bust.Â  Even though she had been out of the country for the last 8 months, she had a collection of newspapers piled on her kitchen table.Â  Her neighbor said that Duncan had paid her to take in her mail and newspapers even though she would leave town for long periods.Â  Inside Duncan's purse they found a newspaper article about the murder at the Shelter of Hope.Â  The article contained a picture of Jenna leaving the courthouse.Â Â   
  
After all these years, her search finally paid off.Â  She found her old friend.Â  She then put her long thought out plan into action.Â  She was finally going to get her revenge.Â   
  
What she didn't take into consideration was the extent to which Jenna loved Gil. She was willing to sacrifice her own life to save him.Â  She was also willing to do something she never dreamed she was capable of; she was able to take a life in order to save the life of the man she loved.  
  
Once the investigation was complete and the okay was given for the clean up, Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown volunteered to put their bosses home back in order.Â  Catherine Willows gave them instructions  
  
to not touch any room that was not affected by the crime.Â  They were to leave the laundry from the dryer where it was.Â  The upstairs was to remain untouched.Â  They were to leave the unmade bed just like  
  
they found it.Â   
  
It was always Catherine'sÂ  experience that even though they were victimized, the victims wanted to return to their home the way they remembered it.Â  The messed up bed could be a reminder of the last night they had together.Â  The uncapped tube of toothpaste could be a pleasant reminder of events of the past.Â  There had to be evidence that they had a life together in this house.  
  
Nick and Warrick understood what Catherine was saying.Â  The crime seemed to take place in the living room.Â  That is where they concentrated their clean up efforts.  
  
Greg Sanders came over with a formula that he had put together that he was sure would remove the blood strains from the carpet.Â  Nick and Warrick offered to help scrub the carpet, but Greg insisted on doing  
  
it himself.Â  He turned away from them as he worked.Â  The usual fun loving jokester was having a hard time coping with the crime that had occurred in this house.Â  This was his first taste of feeling the pain  
  
felt by other crime victims.Â  He now realized why Gris was always pushing him to process the evidence.Â  The victims and/or their family needed answers. 


	10. Chapter Ten - The Hospital

Chapter Ten â€" The Hospital  
  
Sara never did go over to Gil's to check out the scene of the crime.Â  She spent all her spare time at the hospital waiting for him to wake up.Â  She would also make visits to Jenna's room to check on her.Â   
  
She wasn't worried about Jenna as there was always someone from the Shelter by her bedside.Â  The staff and residents had made a commitment that someone would be at her bedside 24 hours a day.Â  They also committed to having someone at Gil's bedside so that he was never alone.Â  The girls felt that given all that Jenna had done for them, this was the least they could do to say thank you.Â   
  
While Sara sat by his bedside, Gil would wake up and try to talk.Â  He really wasn't fully conscious so most of what he said did not make any sense.Â  What his visitors were able to determine, from his mumblings, was that he was reliving the events that put him in the hospital.Â   
  
Three days after being admitted, he started to awake to a more conscious awareness of his surroundings.Â  It started out slowly.Â  He realized he was in the hospital.Â  He saw the figure of a woman dozing in a chair next to his bed.Â  He called out to her, "Jenna, Jenna wake up."Â Â   
  
His world crashed when the sleeping visitor woke up and said, "Hey Gris, how you doing?Â  It's me, Sara."  
  
"Sara?Â  Where's Jenna?"Â  He wanted to know.  
  
"She's here.Â  In the hospital."Â  Sara answered.  
  
"How is she?"Â   
  
She avoided answering that question.Â  "Listen Gil, take it easy for a few minutes.Â  I'm going to go let the nurse know you're awake."Â  She left his room quickly.  
  
A few minutes later a nurse arrived.Â  She checked his IV and blood pressure.Â  She made a few notes in his chart and told him that she would call his doctor and let him know that he was awake.Â  Gil wasn't interested in any of that.Â  He asked the nurse if she knew how his friend was.Â  She was sorry, but she did not.  
  
"If Sara is still out there, send her back in, please," he instructed the nurse.  
  
What was taking her so long, Gil wondered to himself.Â  He got tired of waiting and decided he would go and find Jenna, on his own.Â  He was attempting to put down the bed rail when Sara finally came back in.Â   
  
"What are you doing?" she called out in a panic.Â  She rushed over to the bed and forced the bed rail back up.  
  
He struggled to put it down again.Â  "I have to go find Jenna."  
  
"Gil your going to hurt yourself now lay back."Â  She said as she attempted to gently, but firmly push him to lie back in bed.Â   
  
He grabbed her by the wrist and yelled at her,Â  "leave me alone.Â  I got to find, find her, I going to go find Jenna."Â  Even though he was still weak from his injuries he was able to push Sara away from him and start to roll out of the bed.  
  
"Stop it, Gris," Sara yelled and again attempted to restrain him.  
  
"Whoa!Â  Whoa!Â  What's going on here."Â  It was Warrick Brown. He ran and stood between his two battling co-workers.  
  
"He's trying to get out of bed.Â  He's not strong enough. He'll hurt himself."Â  Sara said trying explain what was going on.  
  
Warrick turned to address his boss.Â  "Good to see you awake, Gris."Â   
  
He had finally laid back on the bed, exhausted and in pain.Â  He looked at Warrick like a man who was drowning and pleading for a life jacket.Â  "Please, I have to go find Jenna.Â  I have to see her."Â  He said as he grabbed Warrick by the arm.Â   
  
"Okay, Gris. If that's what you want.Â  Lay still and I'll go find a wheelchair and take you to her.Â  Okay?Â  Just relax."  
  
"I will."Â  Gil let loose of his grip and laid back.Â  He finally found someone willing to help him.  
  
Warrick started to walk out of the room, to find a wheelchair, when Sara came running after him.Â  "What the hell do you think your going to do?"Â  She demanded.Â   
  
"He wants to go and see her, so I'm going to get a wheelchair and take him to her."Â  Warrick answered her.Â Â Â Â   
  
"He's not strong enough to get out of bed," she insisted.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"He wants to see her, Sara.Â  Now you can either help him get ready or you can leave."Â  She just stared at him knowing that this was one argument she wasn't going to win.  
  
"What did you tell him about her condition?"Â  Warrick asked.  
  
"Nothing," she answered.  
  
Warrick just shook his head and left to find the wheelchair.  
  
When Sara turned back, she saw Gil reaching for the robe that was at the foot of his bed.Â  Without a word to him, she walked over and helped him put it on.Â Â Â Â   
  
It took Warrick about 10 minutes to reappear with the wheelchair.Â  He had to argue with the nurses on why he wanted it.Â  Like Sara, they didn't think he was strong enough to be moved.Â  Warrick promised  
  
Grissom that he would take him to see Jenna.Â  He wasn't going to let anyone stop him.Â   
  
When he finally returned to the room.Â  Gil was lying back on the bed with his eyes closed.Â  He opened them when he heard Warrick return.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
He struggled to get up.Â  Warrick helped him put the bedrail down and to swing his legs over the side of the bed.Â  Gil cried out silently not wanting anyone to know how much physical pain this was causing him.Â  As his right knee was hurt, Warrick did not want him putting any weight on his leg, so he had Gil place his left arm around his neck so that he could get his balance standing on his one good leg.Â  He then guided him into the wheelchair.Â   
  
Once Gil was settled, Warrick felt that he needed to know the specifics of Jenna's condition, before he saw her.Â  He knelt down to put Gil's feet onto the footrests of the wheelchair.Â  Once that was done he looked up at Gil, unsure of how to tell him what he needed to know.Â  Warrick stopped, wondering who was this man he was looking at?Â  Just a few days ago he was happy and joking with the crew, something he had never done before.Â  But now, there was no color in his face or light in his eyes.Â  The gray in his hair that use to make him distinguished looking, was now making him look old.Â  "Gris, before we go, there's something you need to know."  
  
"No," Gil cut him off before he could say anything more.Â  He looked Warrick straight in the eye and repeated, "No, I`ll see for myself when I get there.Â  Just get me there, please."  
  
Warrick knew he should prepare him for what was to come, but he realized that no matter what he told him, he would not believe it until he saw for himself.Â  "Okay Gris.Â  Lets go."  
  
Warrick looked at Sara, "Sara will you bring this?" he said pointing at the IV stand that Gil was still connected to.Â   
  
Sara stood where she was and looked at Warrick.Â  She was so angry with him.Â  Warrick looked back at her with signs of the impatience he was having with her.Â  Sara grabbed the IV stand and followed the  
  
two men out of the room and to the elevators.Â  No one said a word. 


	11. Chapter Eleven - The Announcement

Chapter Eleven – The Announcement  
  
There was a group of four people standing in Jenna's room talking.  They continued to talk even when the door opened, until they noticed that two members of the group were no longer paying attention.  Sr. Laura and Catherine Willows had stopped taking part in the conversation when they saw that Gil Grissom was being wheeled in.  
  
Catherine ran over to greet him.  She held back her joy at seeing him, as she knew that he would not be in the mood for any display of affection.  "Gil, it's good to see you awake," was all that she said.  
  
           
  
He wasn't looking or listening to her.  He pushed on the wheel of the chair to motion that he wanted Warrick to push him over to the bed.  It was a though he had no concept that other people were in the room, looking at him.  Warrick pushed the chair to the side of the bed.  Catherine followed.  Sara stayed back.    
  
Gil looked at Jenna, first noticing only her still body, then the tubes coming out of her mouth. Then the wires attached to her head and the tubes in her arms.  Then he looked at the machines.  The EKG  
  
was running irregular.  The EEG was not showing any waves at all.   Catherine saw the look of despair on his face when he realized what was happening.  She pulled up a chair and sat next to him.  
  
"Gil, do you know what happened?"  Catherine asked softly.  
  
He shook his head no, never taking his eyes off his love.  
  
She didn't want to go too far, so she asked first, "do you want me to tell you what happened?"  
  
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds.  No, he didn't want to know the details, but she was going to tell him anyway.  He was right.  When he didn't answer Catherine took that as an indication that it was okay to continue.   
  
"When they first brought Jenna in, she had lost a lot of blood.  They put her on the respirator to help her breath.  About 3 hours later she threw a blood clot that went to her brain.  If not for the fact that she was already on the respirator, they would have declared her dead."  
  
To Catherine's surprise, at this point Sr. Laura came over to continue with the story.  Catherine got up and offered Sr. Laura her seat.  "These people here represent the hospital.  They want to petition the court for guardianship so that they can either send her to a nursing home somewhere or turn off the machines and let nature take its course.  They say that the court has to decide because Jenna doesn't have a next of kin to make the decisions for her.  If she did, then someone who loved her would be able to decide what her future will be."   
  
At this point Gil turned and looked at Sr. Laura.  The two of them just stared at each other.  In the background he could hear the hospital personnel and Catherine talking.  They were talking about judges and guardianship and turning off machines and transferring to long term care facilities.  Through all this Sara noticed Sr. Laura and Gil never lost eye contact.  She heard her say to him, "It would be a shame if someone who didn't know and love our Jenna was given the authority to decide her future, don't you think?"  
  
At first he didn't answer her, he just turned back to Jenna.  He thought to himself, what difference did it make as she was never going to wake up again.  Then he heard the voices of strangers talking about her as though they had a right to control her destiny.  Finally he spoke.  "I can speak for her."   
  
"Pardon me?"  asked Louis Monroe, the hospital's legal department representative.  
  
"I can make the decisions of what should be done with her."  Gil announced again.  
  
"Under what authority?" Monroe wanted to know.  
  
Gil turned and looked at Sr. Laura as if he was looking for the courage to answer that question.   
  
"Under what authority Mr. Grissom."  He was asked again.  
  
This time Gil answered him, "As her husband."  
  
Sara watched as Sr. Laura breathed a sigh of relief.  Sara realized that Sr. Laura knew all along that they were married.  Why the hell didn't she tell anyone?   
  
Catherine returned to his sided and asked.  "You married her, Gil?  When?  Why didn't you tell us?"  She wasn't sure if her feelings were hurt or if she was angry that he didn't trust them enough to invite them take part in his marriage.  "When did you get married Gil?"  
  
He turned and held Jenna's hand.  They waited for him to answer.  "It'll be 19 years in May," he finally answered.  
  
Catherine stood back.  19 years!  He's been married all this time.  My God, Gil, she wondered, why didn't you ever tell us? So this was your deep dark secret.  There was someone that you loved and lost.  Who would have known that he was waiting for her to return?  How sad for him that things are ending like this.  
  
Louis Monroe was the next to speak.  "Mr. Grissom, do you have documentation to prove your marriage was valid?"  
  
"I have a copy of our marriage license in a safe deposit box," he answered.  
  
"Yes, well, I understand that your wife has been known by a few aliases.  Can you prove that your marriage was valid?  That she married you under a legal name?"  
  
"I don't know.  I suppose…,"  he was going to say he could probably contact the FBI and get proof that she was legally Jenna Tappen, but he didn't have to finish his thought as Sr. Laura had gotten up and walked over and pulled an envelope out of her purse.   
  
"I have the proof that you need."  She then produced papers that documented that on May 15th, 1983, Leslie Brenden was legally Jenna Tappen, the name that she used when they got married.  She also had a certified copy of their marriage license.   
  
The hospital legal representative perused the documents.  He asked if he could make copies for his legal department.  He promised to return them.  Before leaving Monroe addressed Gil,  "Mr. Grissom, I'll have your wife's doctor come and talk with you about her condition.  Then we'll have one of our social workers talk to you about your options."   
  
"Fine," was all he said.   
  
Once the hospital personnel left, Sr. Laura again walked over and sat next to Gil.  "Gil, I have one more thing for you."   She opened the small box that she had removed from her purse.  "Jenna told me that your wedding ring was too big for your finger and that sometimes, depending on what you were working on, you would leave the ring behind.  The day that she left, you were going to be doing some digging in the mountains, so you left your ring behind.  She told me she took it as a remembrance of what you had.  I think it's time that these rings were return to where they belong."   
  
At first he just looked at the gold bands.  Then Sr. Laura went on to explain why she had them.  "Jenna was saving them for when you started your new life.  It was going to be her gift to you."   
  
He reached in and took his wedding band.  He looked inside to be sure the inscription `forever in love' was engraved on the inside.  When he saw this simple statement he closed his eyes and lowered his head.  He was fighting to control the tears that were burning to get out.  He slowly placed the ring on his finger, realizing that it was now a perfect fit.   
  
He then took Jenna's matching ring and placed it on her finger.  He kissed her hand and barely audible, he was heard to say, " I love you Jenna, I'll love you forever."  
  
He held her hand in both of his.  He then lowered his face onto the bed and cried silently.  They knew he was crying because his shoulders were heaving up and down.  Catherine went over to him and rubbed her hand across his upper back.  "Gil, we'll give you some time alone.  When you're done, call us.  We'll be out in the hallway."  Then she motioned everyone to leave the room. Catherine knew that Gil would want to say some private things to his wife, without an audience listening in.  
  
Sara had already left the room.  She walked out without being noticed once Gil placed the ring on Jenna's finger.   
  
When they walked out of the room, Catherine noticed Sara pacing at the elevator, repeatedly pushing the button that was already lit up.  She could only imagine the emotions Sara was feeling.  She went over to talk to her.   
  
They weren't in the hallway for more than five minutes when he called Warrick back into the room.  "Take me back."   
  
"Sure thing, Gris,"  
  
Out in the hallway Gil spoke to Sr. Laura.  "You'll stay with her?"   
  
Sr. Laura assured him that someone from the Shelter would be with Jenna around the clock.  
  
"Good," he answered.  
  
Then she told him, "You get some rest.  I'll come by tomorrow and we can talk, if that's okay with you?"  
  
    
  
"Whatever you want," was all he said before being taken back to his room. 


	12. Chapter Twelve - Just Go Away

Chapter Twelve – Just Go Away  
  
Warrick wheeled Gil back to his room with Catherine taking charge of the IV stand and Sara following behind.  
  
Once back in his room, Warrick again wrapped Gil's arm around his neck so that he could help guide him back into bed, but this time, Gil was unable to hide the pain caused by this move.  He quickly started to perspire and doubled over due to the pain caused by his rib injury.   
  
"I'll get some help," Sara said as she started to leave the room to get one of the nurses.  
  
She didn't have to go very far as Dr. Donovan was on his way into the room.  "Well," he said, "nice of you to bring our patient back."   
  
Noticing right away the distress that Gil was in he ordered the nurse to administer a pain shot.  It took only a few seconds for it to take affect and Gil's labored breathing slowed down.  Once this was under  
  
control, Dr. Donovan asked the guests to wait outside while he examined his patient.  
  
"We'll be right outside, if you need anything," Catherine told him, as she led the way out to the hallway.  Once in the hallway the group sat quietly each trying to comprehend what they just witnessed in Jenna's room.  
  
Less than 10 minutes later Dr. Donovan emerged from his examination.  "How is he?" Catherine asked.  
  
"He'll be fine," the doctor told her before suggesting that they all leave.  "I've given him something to help him sleep.  He'll be out for the next few hours.  There's no reason for you to stay around."  
  
"Well, I just want to check on him, before I leave," Sara said.   
  
As she started to go back into the room, Dr. Donovan stepped in front of her and said, "He's doing just fine.  You really should leave.  You've been here an awful lot yourself and that really is not healthy."  
  
Sara was just about to argue with him when Catherine spoke up, "He doesn't want any visitors, does he?"  
  
Dr. Bradford Donovan was more than just Gil's doctor; he was also a consultant that was used regularly by the Las Vegas police; so he was aware of the CSI team and their boss.  He wanted to spare their feelings as best he could, but yes, Catherine was right.  Then he added, "He needs time to sort though all that's happened.  Give him some space. Come back tomorrow, but not everyone at once.  Just one at a time to see how he reacts.  I don't want him stressed out with good intentions that he really doesn't want to deal with right now"  
  
"Alright Brad, we'll take it easy on him."  Catherine assured the doctor.    
  
With that the visitors headed for the elevator.  They said their good-byes in the parking lot.  They agreed that they would get to work a half hour early so that they could update the rest of the crew concerning Gil's physical condition and the revelation of his marriage.  Being concerned about Sara, Catherine wanted to have a word alone with her, but Sara made an excuse and left quickly.   
  
It had been agreed that Catherine would be the first CSI team member to return to the hospital for a visit, but Lt. Brass had been by earlier in the day, as part of the police investigation.  He needed to get Gil's statement concerning what happened.  Gil's version of what happened was inline with what the investigation team had already determined.  Before leaving, Brass told him how Nick, Warrick and Greg got together and cleaned up his house.  His neighbor, Barbara Campbell was taking in his mail.  Brass offered to take care of any business matters that he had, but Gil told him there was nothing that  
  
he needed done.  
  
Knowing that Lt. Brass had gone to see him in the morning, as part of the official investigation, Catherine decided to wait and go in the late afternoon, giving Gil more time to think things out.   
  
Before going to his room, she stopped by to see how things were going with Jenna.  Two of the young residents from the Shelter were keeping vigil in her room.  Nothing about her condition had changed and as far as they knew, Mr. Grissom had not been by to visit.  
  
Catherine then gathered her courage and headed to Gil's room.  She was not about to let him turn her away or become anymore withdrawn.  When she got to his room, Marcy Hampton, another one of the girls from the Shelter, was walking out.  She recognized Catherine.   
  
"Hi," Catherine greeted her. "How is he?"  
  
"Okay, I guess.  He really doesn't say very much."  Marcy commented.  
  
"Yea, that would be our Gil.  Don't worry about it.  I'm sure he appreciates what you girls are doing."  
  
"Yea, he likes us to tell him stories about Gilli..., I mean, Jenna."  Then her tone changed and she became angry.  "Life really sucks doesn't.  What's the point in trying to live the right way?  All they wanted to do was be together and that bitch had to go and wreck everything.  I'm glad she's dead, I would have killed her myself if Jenna hadn't."  
  
Catherine reached out to Marcy, holding onto her shoulders and looking her directly in the eyes,  "Now where would that get you?  Things didn't turn out to good for Jenna and Gil, but think how happy they were when they were together.  Even though they didn't have much time together, they made the best of what they did have.  Don't let what one mad woman did destroy your dreams."  
  
"That sounds like something Jenna would have said."  Marcy told her wiping the tears from her eyes.  
  
Catherine stood up tall, feeling proud of herself, "Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
They said their good-byes and Catherine entered Gil's room.  She knocked first on the open door, "Hello."    
  
He opened his eyes when he heard her voice.   
  
"How are you doing today, Gil?"   She asked as she entered his room.    
  
He didn't answer.  
  
She continued her one sided conversation, "You look better, anyway.  I hear the girls from the Shelter have been down here sharing stories with you.  They really liked Jenna, didn't they?"  He continued his silence and she continued her conversation.  "I can understand why."  She paused before continuing, "You know, I talked to her."  
  
This got his attention; he turned to look at her.   
  
"Do you want me to tell you about it?"  Catherine asked.  
  
He continued to look at her, so she continued her story.  "It was the night we found you.  She called out for you and I went over to her.  She knew who I was; she called me by my name.  You must have told her about us?"  
  
"She wanted to know about the people I worked with," he told her.  He shifted in the bed so that he could talk to her better. "Catherine, you talked to her?  How was she?  Was she in pain?"  
  
She knew that Gil had seen enough victims to know what gunshot wounds did, so she wasn't about to lie to him.  "She was really weak, but she was more concerned about how you were, to realize how bad off she was."  
  
"What did you tell her?" he wanted to know.  
  
"I told her that you were alive and that help was on the way."  Catherine wasn't sure if this was the best time to relay Jenna's message, but then again, when would be?   "Gil, she wanted me to tell you something."  Catherine waited to be sure he wanted her to continue.  "She said to tell you that she loved you.  Her exact words were, 'tell him that I love him, that I've loved him forever'."  Then she added, "I heard you say that to her, yesterday."  
  
He ignored her last comment and looked away, not wanting her to see the emotion building inside him.  "What else did she say?"  
  
"Nothing, she fainted." Catherine wished there was something more she could have told him, but their wasn't.  
  
"I hear you haven't been to visit her today.  Do you want me to take you up there?"  She offered.  
  
"No," was his only answer.  
  
"Why not?" she wanted to know.  
  
"Catherine, you know what, I'm tired.  Why don't you go home to your daughter or spend sometime with Paul?"   
  
"Well, first of all, I'm on my way to work, after leaving here and second, Lindsay's at a sleep over with some classmates.  And,because you're so concerned, you'll be glad to know that we spent the day together shopping for just the right p.j.'s.  You know, nothing too babyish, but not too grownup.  And Paul is in Los Angles on business."  
  
"Gil, why don't you want to go see her?"  She asked getting back to her question.  
  
He rubbed his head, trying to stop the pounding.  She asked him a third time, why he didn't want to go visit his wife, this time causing him to yell out his answer, "Because there's no god damn point to going there, she's dead. Her body is functioning because of those damn machines, but she's dead.  I've seen enough dead corpses, I don't need to see a live one."   Then he pleaded with her to leave, "I'm tired Catherine, you need to go now."  
  
She was not about to abandon him, so easily.  "I'm sorry you feel that way.  Have you decided what you are going to do?"  
  
He knew Catherine well enough to know that she wasn't going to leave until she was ready, he had no choice but to answer her question, "As soon as the hospital gives the clearance we're going to turn off  
  
the respirator."  
  
"When will that happen?"  
  
He told her about his meeting with the hospital staff.  Their legal representative and a social worker came by right after Lt. Brass had left from his visit.  Sr. Laura was invited to take part in the meeting.  Their options were laid out.  Short of an unexpected miracle, there was no chance that Jenna would recover.  It was decided that the respirator would be turned off and they would let nature take it's course.   
  
"They're verifying that our marriage was legal and their drawing up all the legal papers.  It will take them about a week to get everything done."  He asked her again to leave, "Catherine, please, I don't want to talk about it anymore."   
  
"Okay, I'll go for now, but we're not going to forget about you no matter how much you push us away.  I'll see to it that no one else comes by tonight, but I can't promise to keep Sara away much longer."   
  
Sara.  He had so much to deal with right now; he did not have the physical or emotional strength to deal with Sara.  "Please Cat, I can't… I can't deal with her.  Please keep her away."  
  
Catherine wanted Gil to know how important it was for Sara to see him, "You know she spent ever free minute she had, here at the hospital, while you were unconscious."  She was going to tell him that he should let her at least come by to see how well he was doing, but he interrupted her.    
  
"Cat, I don't mean to seem ungrateful, but I can't deal with Sara's needs right now.  Please, convince her to stay away, for a few days at least."  
  
She didn't know how she was going to handle things with Sara, but she agreed to try,  "Okay, Gil, I'll see what I can do."   
  
"Thank you," he told her.   
  
She smiled her acknowledgement.   
  
She was preparing to leave when, to her surprise, he grabbed her arm.  "I mean it Catherine, thank you, for everything.  Let the others know how much I appreciate what they've done.  Jim told me how the guys cleaned up my house.  And, I know Sara cares.  It really does mean a lot to me to have all of you as friends."   
  
She put her free hand over the one that was holding on to her arm and told him, "No thanks needed.  We're not doing anything you wouldn't do for any of us."  Then she kissed him on the cheek.  "I'll see you tomorrow." 


	13. Chapter Thirteen - Back Home

Chapter Thirteen – Back Home  
  
Catherine was at home doing her laundry when her cell phone rang.  "Willows."  
  
"Hello Catherine."  
  
"Oh, no," Catherine thought.  She recognized the caller's voice.  She was beginning to be able to detect if the caller was calling just to give information or if she was calling to report another problem.   
  
"What's wrong?" she asked Sr. Laura.  
  
"I was just down to visit with Gil and I found out that he left the hospital a couple hours ago."  
  
Catherine let out a deep sigh of frustration.  "Okay.  I'm sure he went home.  I'll go check on him."  
  
"You'll let me know if there's anything I can do?"  
  
"I'll call you back, later." Catherine promised.  
  
"Damn you Gil Grissom," Catherine thought.  "Now how am I going to get into see him?" she thought to herself.  
  
An hour after she got the call, she was knocking on his door.  "Gil, I know your in there," she yelled though the door when he didn't answer.  Rather than create a scene on the porch, she decided to call  
  
him.  The phone rang three times, before the answering machine click on.  "Gil, if you don't answer the door, I'm going to assume something's wrong and I'll get someone to break in."  She paused to give him a chance to answer.  Then she continued, "Listen, I just brought you some groceries.  Let me put them away...."  
  
Then the door opened.   
  
"Hi," she said.  "I just brought you some groceries.  Let me put them away for you and I'll leave.  I promise."   
  
He stepped aside so that she could enter.  She carried 4 plastic grocery bags.  She headed directly for the kitchen.  When she got there she turned to see Gil, leaning heavily on a cane, walking painfully back to the table he was obviously sitting at when she arrived.  He appeared to be going though his mail.   
  
She decided to take a chance and start a conversation with him.  "Gil, can I make you a sandwich?"   
  
He didn't answer.  
  
"You've been here for a couple hours now, you probably haven't eaten all day, have you?  I'll just make it and leave.  I promise."  
  
He knew she was just trying to be helpful and he realized that he hadn't eaten all day.   
  
"Okay, Gil?" she said as she started to pull out the ingredients.   
  
"That will be fine," he told her.  Then he added, "Catherine, why don't you make two and join me."  
  
   
  
She wasn't expecting that, but she was more than glad to accept his invitation.  
  
Catherine placed the two plates down at the table Gil was working at.  He moved his papers aside for her.  She went back to the kitchen to get the glass of milk she poured for him.  He looked up at her when she set it down, as if asking what that was for.  
  
"Helps mend broken bones," she told him.  
  
They ate quietly for a few minutes, until Catherine spoke.  "So why did you leave the hospital, Gil."  
  
He was expecting the question.  "Catherine, I can lay around in my own house as easily as I can at the hospital."   
  
"Gil," she paused before continuing, as she knew what his answer would be,  "Why don't you come and spend a few days at my place."  
  
He looked down and shook his head.  "Catherine, I'm fine.  I just needed some time alone, to think about what's going to happen next.  I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.  I've been doing it  
  
for along time."  
  
"Yea, for almost 19 years."  She pointed out.  
  
He looked up, making eye contact with her, but not saying a word.  Finally he told her,  "Catherine thanks for the lunch.  How much do I owe you for the groceries?"  He said as he started to reach for his checkbook.  
  
"Nothing," she answered him.  "Gil, why didn't you tell me about her.  I would have kept your secret.  This explains so much about you."  
  
He got up and limped away from her.  He did not want to discuss his feelings with anyone at this time.  He slowly walked over and sat on the couch.  "Catherine, I need you to leave."  
  
She wasn't ready to leave.  She went and sat next to him.  She commented on the music that had been planning very softly.  "That music is very pretty.  I didn't know you were a soft jazz lover."  
  
"It's Jenn's favorite."  He answered.  
  
"Oh, I see." Catherine answered.  She pictured them alone together with the music playing and the lights turned down.   
  
"This is all my fault, you know."   
  
She turned and looked at him, "What's your fault?"  
  
"She told me Duncan was dangerous.  That she was still looking for her, but I didn't believe her."  
  
"Gil, you were planning on leaving town.  What more could you have done?"  
  
"If I truly believed her I would have pushed the FBI to get us out of town sooner.  I was only leaving because I knew she was scared, but I didn't believe this would happen.  If I would have just trusted her instincts, we could have been safe somewhere and she wouldn't be dying."  
  
Catherine did not know what to say.  She wanted to help ease his pain and guilt, but everything was too fresh.  "You are not responsible for the actions of that mad woman.  Jenna would not want you to blame yourself.  Would she?"   
  
He closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the couch. "No she wouldn't, but that doesn't change the facts."  
  
   
  
"What facts?"  Catherine had no idea what he was talking about.  
  
"She warned me Catherine."  He told her.  "She wanted us to stay apart, but I insisted on spending time with her.  I made her let down her guard."   
  
He sat up and looked at Catherine so that she would understand why he was responsible for how things turned out.  "I gave her a false sense of security.  I wanted her to meet all of you, but she said no.  She said that we had to keep a low profile.  That was my compromise with her; she would see me, before we moved, as long as we kept it quiet"  
  
He rested his head on the back of the couch, again.  Looking up at he ceiling, he continued to explain.  "I failed her Catherine.  I made her believe that everything would be okay.  She wouldn't stay here in the beginning, but once we learned our move date, she started to relax.  The day that this all happened was only the second time, she was here alone."  
  
He again sat up and looked at Catherine, "She was only here because I asked her to come over.  I had the next day off and I wanted her to go into the desert with me to hunt beetles.   If it wasn't for that, she wouldn't have been here."  
  
"Gil, I understand why you would think this is your fault, but it isn't."  She said placing her hand on his arm.  "This is the fault of Kathy Duncan and Kathy Duncan alone.  Duncan had a newspaper article about the murder at the Shelter.  There was picture of Jenna in the paper.  It was just a small picture, you could hardly identify her, but that was why Duncan knew that Jenna was in Vegas.  She would have found her whether you were together or not."  
  
It was as though he didn't hear a word she had to say.   She waited for him to say something.  When he didn't she told him again, "Gil, this wasn't your fault."  
  
Then to her surprise, he started to tell her about what happened.  "This is where she was sitting when I came home that morning.  The last thing I saw before being hit on the head was the panic in her eyes.  Her arms were tied behind her back and she had tape over her mouth.  I knew before I blacked out what was happening."  
  
Gil learned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and massaging his temples, trying to ease the pain of the headache he had.  Catherine gently rubbed her hand across his upper back.  
  
"Don't stop now Gil.  Tell me the rest."   
  
He continued,  "After I woke up, Duncan would hit me and then go and put her face in Jenna's and ask her how she was feeling. Jenna couldn't talk because of the tape, but she tried.  Every once in awhile Duncan would take the tape off and Jenna would tell me how sorry she was."  He paused and added, "I've never been so helpless in all my life."  
  
"Then Duncan was raving about something or another and Jenn managed to get loose.  She grabbed the fireplace poker and hit Duncan with it.  She ran to the kitchen to get a knife, to cut me free.  Jenn was coming back with the knife when she saw that Duncan had regained consciousness.  She had a gun hidden under her shirt; she was pointing it at me.  Jenna came up behind her and started to stab her with the knife.  Duncan turned and shot her.  They both just collapsed from their wounds at the same time."  
  
Then he turned to Catherine,  "I saw it all and there was nothing I could do.   I sat tied to that damn chair and there was nothing I could do."  
  
"That's right Gil, there was nothing you could do.  Look at your wrists, you tired to get loose, that's how you got these," she said pointing out the cuts around his wrists that were caused by the wire that bound him to the chair.  
  
He was tired and didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Catherine, thanks for the groceries, but I'm tired, you should leave." He assured her he would be fine by himself. She wanted to stay, but she knew he was entitled to his privacy.  "You call me if you need anything."  She told him.   
  
Then she added, "You'll let me know when the time is set to turn off the respirator?  I want to go with you.  Okay?"  
  
"We'll see," is all he told her.   
  
Catherine was just about to get into her car when she saw another car pull up and park in front of Gil's house.  The driver got out and started to walk up to Gil's door.  "Excuse me," Catherine called out to him.   
  
The visitor turned to acknowledge her.  Catherine was right; it was Fr. Powell, the priest that was counseling the Jennings boy, before he committed suicide in his jail cell.  
  
"Oh, no." Catherine thought, he was the last person that Gil needed to deal with now.  Gil didn't need any more guilt trips, today. She had to get rid of him.  "Can I help you with something?" she wanted to know.   
  
"This is Gil Grissom's house, right?"  he asked.  
  
"Yes," she confirmed for him.  
  
"I'm fine then."  
  
Catherine was determined to keep him away from Gil.  "You know he just got out of the hospital, he really doesn't want any unexpected visitors."  
  
"Well then, there's no problem is there?" he said as he started to head to the door.  
  
What did that mean, Catherine wondered?  "Excuse me."  She called out to him again, trying to stop him from disturbing Gil.  
  
Then the front door opened and Catherine saw Gil standing there.  Fr. Powell turned and acknowledged Gil and as he started to walk to the house he informed Catherine that he wasn't an unexpected visitor.  
  
Catherine stood in the walk and watched as the two men entered the house and closed the door. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen - The Visit

Chapter Fourteen â€" The Visit  
  
The third shift CSI crew was sitting in the break room when someone knocked on the open door.  
  
"Is this what you do when the boss is gone?"  
  
They turned to see Gil Grissom standing at the door, balancing himself on a cane.Â Â   
  
"Hey, Gris," Warrick said as he stood up and walked over to greet him. "Come in and sit down,"Â  he said as he pulled a chair up for him.  
  
There were smiles all around the table.Â  It was good to see him back at the lab, even if it was just for a visit.  
  
"What brings you here tonight?" Catherine asked.  
  
"I was over at the hospital; signing papers. We're turning off the machines tomorrow at 10:00."  
  
"You're going to let me take you, right?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Yea, come by about 9."  
  
"I'll be there." she assured him.  
  
Silence followed this as the other's did not know what to say, until Nick finally spoke,Â  "So Gil, how did you get here?"  
  
"Sr. Laura drove me."  
  
"She'll be there too, won't she?" Nick asked.Â   
  
"Of course." This was still something he found hard to talk about so he changed the subject.Â  He realized that the team had been sitting around an uncut cake. "So what's the occasion," he asked referring to the cake.  
  
"Nothing special," Catherine answered. "Lindsay's school had a bake sale and I baked a cake for her.Â  I decided to make one for this gang. We were just waiting for the coffee to boil, which looks like  
  
it's done."  
  
Catherine stood up to go get the pot, but Sara stood up and said she would get it.  
  
Sara walked around the table and poured everyone a cup. When she got to Gil she said, "Coffee?"  
  
"Sure, that would be fine," he answered her.  
  
She poured without saying a word.  
  
While Sara was pouring the coffee, Catherine was cutting the cake and passing pieces around the table.Â  The cake was cut and the coffee was poured, but no one was eating or drinking.  
  
"Okay people," Catherine said, "dig in."  
  
They joked with each other while they ate.Â  The guys told her how good the cake was and Catherine asked why they were so surprised.Â   
  
Sara and Gil added very little to the conversation.Â  They would occasionally make sideways glances at each other, but they quickly turned away before actual eye contact was made.  
  
Then Greg Sanders came in.Â  "Hey Gris, I heard you were here."Â  Gil stood up and shook his hand.Â Â  He instructed him to sit down and join them.Â  Greg was glad for the invitation.Â  He really missed having Gris in the lab.Â Â  Greg spent the next five minutes giving him an update on his latest case breaking discovery.Â   
  
Gil then complimented Greg on whatever formula it was that he used to clean the blood off his carpet.Â  He suggested Greg look into getting a patent as he could make a fortune with his formula.Â   
  
Then to everyone's surprise Gil started to talk about his relationship with Jenna.Â  He started out by telling them how sorry he was that they didn't have a chance to meet her.Â  Then he told them about how they had meet and why she left.Â   
  
Most of his conversation centered on their reunion.Â  He found it very easy to express to them the love he felt for her, but he could not share with them the pain he felt with losing her again.Â  He also relayed the story he had already told Catherine on why he was responsible for what happened.Â  He wouldn't allow them to try and convince him that he had no control over what happened.Â   
  
After about an hour of sitting around, an assignment came in, causing the reunion to come to an end.  
  
Gil stood up to say good-bye.Â  First to Nick and Warrick who both told him to be sure and call if he needed anything; to which Gil told them not to worry about him, he would be fine.Â  He also thanked them for cleaning up the house.Â  They did an excellent job; no one would have known anything ever happened.Â   
  
Catherine was the next to say good-bye.Â  She said she would dropped Lindsay off at school and be by his place sometime after 8:30, if that was okay with him.Â  It was.  
  
While everyone else was saying good-bye Sara was cleaning off the break room table; something she normally would not have done.Â  Greg knew that she was just stalling for time, so he offered his good-byes next and left.Â   
  
Greg was right.Â  Sara was just stalling for time.Â  She wanted to take part in the good-bye's, but she didn't know how.Â  This was the first time she'd seen Gil since the day Dr. Donovan informed them that he didn't want any visitors.Â  She had been fighting the urge to go and visit him.Â  Part of her was mad at him because he never called her.Â  The other part of her was made at herself for not calling him.Â Â   
  
After placing everything in the sink, Sara washed and dried her hands and then announced she was ready.  
  
"Sara, could I have a minute with you before you take off," Gil asked.  
  
"We'll get the equipment and wait for you," Catherine told her.  
  
The two of them stood together like young teenagers trying to figure out what to say.Â  Gil was the first to speak.Â  "How've you been Sara?"  
  
She laughed at his effort to break the ice. "I've been fine."  
  
There was so much that she wanted to say to him, but she did not know how to start.Â  She found herself offering to drive him home and meet the team afterwards.Â  Gil declined her offer.Â   
  
Once more she was offering her help, and he was turning her down.Â  "Listen Sara.Â  I know when I was in the hospital you were there for me and I was kind of a jerk to ask you to stay away, but I really appreciate all that you did and that you gave me some time alone.Â  I really needed to be by myself to think things out and make decisions about my future and Jenna's.  
  
"And have you made all those decisions?" she asked.  
  
He nodded his head and simply said, "Yea, I have."  
  
There was something in the way he answered her, that gave her a chill, "What are you going to do Gris?"Â   
  
"Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doing."Â  He didn't want to be grilled by her regarding his plans so he pointed out that the team was waiting for her and she should probably go.Â   
  
They stood motionless, she knew she should leave, but she couldn't.Â  She needed to know what he was planning.Â  He's going to leave town she figured.Â  She was sure he'd never come back to work, with them.  
  
Then he said to her, "You should go before Catherine sends the bloodhounds for you."  
  
"Okay, I'll be in touch."Â  She told him.Â   
  
She found that it was hard to walk away.Â  Then to her surprise he brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen over her left eye and then he caressed the side of her face; just as she had once done to him.Â  Sara closed her eyes at his touch.Â  It was something she had wanted to feel for a long time now.Â  Then with her eyes still closed she felt him kiss her lips.Â  She wasn't expecting that.Â  She opened her eyes and found herself looking directly into his.Â  Before she had a chance to say anything more, he said, "They're waiting for you, you should go."  
  
And she walked away without saying anything more. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen - Good-Bye

She drove up at 8:45.Â  She got out of her car, but before she arrived at the front door, Gil Grissom was exiting his house.Â  Although she had seen him just the night before, there was something about how he  
  
was moving today that wrenched at her heart.Â  Even through the sunglasses he was wearing, she could see that his eyes were puffy, most likely from lack of sleep.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
As they drove to the hospital he asked her about the assignment from the night before.Â  She told him the details of the two bodies that were found along side a stretch of desert road.Â  They had been dead for at least 24 hours and recently dumped on the side of the road.Â  She commented that it was just the type of case he was good at solving.Â  He just reminded her to follow the evidence, suggesting that the victims clothing be carefully searched for foreign fibers such as carpeting from a car trunk or oil stains.Â  All things he knew she was already checking for.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Once at the hospital she had her car valet parked.Â  By the time she turned over her keys to the valet and got her parking stub, Gil was still working his way out of the car.Â  Catherine offered him her hand, which he took.Â  He needed her to help get his balance.Â  They walked into the hospital hand in hand.Â  While waiting for the elevator he told her what a good friend she'd been to him.Â  She told him that their friendship was important to her also.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Gil got as far as the door to Jenna's room, but stopped short of actually entering the room.Â  "Gil, have you seen her since that first night?"Â  Catherine asked him.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"I saw her yesterday, after the paperwork was done."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Come on," Catherine said, as she took his arm, "I'm here for you."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Sr. Laura and four of the girls from the Shelter were in the room.Â  The girls were the last of the volunteers that were keeping a 24-hour vigil with Jenna.Â  Once Gil and Catherine entered,Â Sr. Laura instructed the girls to say their good-byes.Â  The girls each gave Jenna a kiss and their sympathy to Gil.Â  They told Sr. Laura that they would wait for her in the hallway.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
The first thing Gil noticed was that Jenna was wearing make-up and street clothes.Â  Sr. Laura said the girls thought that considering she was leaving on a journey, that Jenna would want to look her best.Â  "You don't mind, do you?"  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"No, she looks beautiful."Â  He assured her.Â  HeÂ also asked her to thank the girls for taking such good care of Jenna.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Catherine pulled a chair up to the bed and instructed Gil to sit down.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
At five minutes after ten, Dr. Frederick Farrell entered the room with Rose Langley, the nurse that had been in charge of Jenna's case.Â  The first thing Dr. Farrell did was to confirm that Gil had no second thoughts about what they were about to do.Â  He then gave a run through on what would happen.Â  She could survive for an extended period, but more realistically she would only survive a matter of a few minutes.Â  "So if you're ready, we'll get started."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Before giving the doctor the go ahead, Gil turned to Sr. Laura and invited her sit on Jenna's right side, while he sat on her left.Â  "Jenna loved you, like a mother.Â  She would want you to be close to her."  
  
For the first time since all this happen, Sr. Laura lost her battle of tears.Â  "I couldn't have loved her more if she was my own child.Â  I've been telling myself that I need to rejoice for Jenna as God was now going to fulfill his greatest promise to her, everlasting life, but now that the time is here....." she couldn't finish what was in her heart, but she didn't need to.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Do you really believe that about everlasting life?"Â  Gil asked.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"With all my heart and soul."Â  She confirmed for him and added, "Even more important, Jenna believed it."  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"I know she did," He confirmed.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
They each held one of Jenna's hands.Â  Gil told the doctor that he could proceed.Â  The room became quite with only the blinking of the heart monitor.Â  After fifteen minutes the line went flat.Â  Dr. Farrell checked for a pulse and heart beat.Â  After not finding either, he pronounced the time of death as 10:57 AM.  
  
Catherine walked over and first hugged Sr. Laura and then Gil.Â  No one spoke.Â   
  
Dr. Farrell excused himself.Â  Nurse Langley would take over from here.Â  Her body would be taken to the morgue until transported to the designated funeral home.Â  Nurse Langley told Gil that he could stay as long as he wanted.Â  She would be at the nurse's station and he should just ring for her when they were ready to leave.Â   
  
Once the nurse left, Gil suggested to Catherine that she should go home also; there was nothing more that she could do.Â  He would take a cab home.Â  Catherine could tell by his mannerisms that once again he wanted time alone.Â  She felt he deserved his privacy.Â   
  
"I'll call you later today," she told him.  
  
He stood up to say good-bye to her.Â  He gave her a tight hug and thanked her for being his friend and especially for helping him through everything with Jenna.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me to wait and take you home?"Â  Catherine asked.  
  
"Go home and take care of your family," he told her.  
  
She kissed him on the cheek, said good-bye to Sr. Laura, and left.Â   
  
Sara was right, Catherine thought, he wouldn't be coming back to work. 


	16. Chapter Sixteen - Farewell

Catherine went home and tried to sleep.Â  It was difficult as she kept remembering the events of earlier in the day.Â  At some point she did drift off to sleep.Â  She woke up when Paul Newsome came into her room. He had picked Lindsey up from school.Â   
  
"How did it go?" he asked.  
  
Catherine shrugged her shoulders as she struggled to come fully awake.Â  "You know Gil, he handled it like a rock."Â   
  
"How was he when you took him home?"Â  Paul asked.  
  
"I didn't."Â  She explained to Paul how Gil had asked her to leave after Jenna passed away.Â   
  
They talked awhile longer and then Paul offered to make Catherine some coffee and Lindsey a snack.Â   
  
Before he left Catherine gave him a long passionate kiss, something she never did when Lindsey was in the house with them.Â   
  
"Wow!!Â  What was that for?" he asked.  
  
"I don't think I let you know, often enough, how much you mean to me."Â   
  
"I better go make the coffee."Â  He realized that he needed to leave before this moment got out of hand.Â Â  As he walked away Catherine remembered the first time she saw Paul.Â  Has it really been a year?Â  A building had collapsed, killing 3 elderly sisters.Â  Paul was the city's District Engineer.Â  He also started off as her prime suspect; something he's never let her forget.  
  
There was something about him though that she couldn't get out of her thoughts.Â  She found herself calling him, one day.Â  She claimed she wanted his input on another case.Â  She then asked him out to  
  
lunch; to apologize for thinking he was responsible for the building collapse.Â  He was more than glad to accept her invitation. They've been together ever since.Â Â   
  
Before heading off to work, Catherine tried to contact Gil at his house, and on his cell phone.Â  He wasn't answering either one.Â   
  
She called Sr. Laura, to find out how he was when she last saw him.Â  Sr. Laura explained to her that shortly after Catherine left, Gil gave the authorization to take Jenna down to the morgue.Â  Before  
  
leaving, he exchanged wedding rings with Jenna.Â  He told Sr. Laura that this way Jenna would always have something of him, and he would always have a part of her.Â  He kissed her good-bye and left.Â  She hasn't heard from his since.  
  
Paul offered to drive Catherine over to Gil's, but Catherine realized that wherever he was, he didn't want company.  
  
"You don't think he'd do anything foolish?"Â  Paul asked, implying that Gil would try and bring an end to the pain he was suffering.  
  
"Noooo, not Gil."Â  Catherine said confidently.Â  "It isn't in his character to take the easy way out."Â  She then added, "but he might just disappear on us."Â   
  
She had called the CSI team right after she left the hospital and updated them on what happened.Â  She arrived at work early, just in case anyone wanted to talk.Â   
  
They were all there early.  
  
When Sara arrived she encounter Greg Sanders in the hallway. "How are you doing, Sara?" he asked, concerned about her.  
  
"What's that suppose to mean?" she snapped back at him.  
  
"Nothing," he said defensively.Â  "I was just wondering how you're doing."  
  
She stopped.Â  She was sorry she snapped at him.Â  "I'm sorry," she said.Â  "I'm fine."  
  
"Have you heard from Grissom?" he asked her.  
  
"No, why would I?" she snapped again.  
  
"I don't know," he said, afraid to inquire any further. He wished he knew how to talk to her.Â   
  
"Damn it," Sara thought to herself, "he was just trying to be friendly."Â  Next time she promised herself she won't snap.  
  
She did tell him that she had tried to reach Grissom by phone.Â  When she found that he wasn't answering his phone she drove over to his place.Â  The shades were drawn and the door was locked.Â  His Tahoe was parked in the same place it had been for the last few weeks.Â  Greg told her that he had done the same thing, before coming into work.  
  
Sara and Greg headed for the break room.Â  Not surprising, neither Nick nor Warrick had heard from Grissom either.Â  Then Catherine came in and asked everyone to come with her.Â  They entered Gil's  
  
office, setting off that annoying Big Mouth Billy Bass that he had hanging over his office door.Â  He liked to tell people that it was his version of a watchdog.Â   
  
Catherine had just returned from being paged to the front desk.Â  She was given a special delivery envelope that she had to personally sign for.Â  The envelope was address to CSI TEAM C/O CATHERINE WILLOWS.Â Â Â   
  
It was obvious that it was from Gil Grissom.Â  Nick closed the office door as Catherine sat at his desk and opened the envelope.Â   
  
Inside were various papers.Â  On the top was a letter he had typed to them.Â  She read it out load.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  My dear friends,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  I am sure that by now you have figured out that I won't  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  be returning to the lab.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Please don't be angry with me for making this decision,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  but Vegas no longer has anything for me.Â  I'm afraid  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  that staying would just turn me into a lonely, bitter old  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  man.Â  I have made arrangements to assume the life that the  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  FBI had created for Jenna and me.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Catherine, once again I am going to impose on you.Â  My  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  house has been sold, but there are things inside that  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  need to be disposed of.Â  I have been in contact with the  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Entomology Department at UCLA.Â  They will be sending  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  someone to take my bug collection.Â  Everything has been  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  boxed and labeled for them.Â  I am also giving them all my  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  books, magazines and research papers.Â  Prof. Bob Harkens  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  will be in contact with you to make arrangements to pick  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  these things up.Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Goodwill will be by to take everything else.Â  Before they  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  get there, whatever any of you want, is yours.  
  
While Catherine was reading the letter Greg Sanders was staring at the ground, wondering what life in the lab would be like without Grissom's guidance, and then he heard his name and looked up.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  GREG, I own very little sentimental property.Â  When I  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  graduated from high school my mother bought me a microscope  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  that she found at a flee market.Â  I didn't realize  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  until I was in college that this was a Carl Zeiss  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  (circa 1880).Â  It was important to me before I realized  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  it's value and history.Â  I would like you to have it as  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  I know that a great scientist like you will appreciate it  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  for it's history and not it's financial worth.Â   
  
Everyone turned and looked at Greg.Â  He told them that he had seen the microscope once.Â Â  Gil had gone with him to a science fair over at the Convention Center and he brought it with him.Â Â   
  
Greg didn't tell them, just yet, that the real gift that Grissom left him was in the letter, when he called him a `great scientist'.Â   
  
Catherine continued to read.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â  Catherine, inside this envelope is a letter ofÂ Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  recommendation for you to replace me as shift supervisor.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  However, my advise to you is to NOT take the job.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  Your enjoyment, in this job, is doing the work.Â  Although youÂ   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  have tried to teach me the benefits of playing the political  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  game, I don't think you could actually live it.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  Plus the extra time the job takes would be better spent with  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  your daughter and Paul.Â  There's so damn much paper work,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  there is no time for a personal life.Â  When I first started  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  this job it didn't matter because work was all that I had,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  but it was hard when I tried to make time to be with Jenna.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  And that is exactly what I had to do, make the time.Â  It's  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  not worth it Catherine.Â  Life is too short and family is too  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  important.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  But, this is a decision you need to make for yourself.Â  And  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  if you want the job, you have my endorsement.  
  
Catherine looked up.Â  "Wow," she said.  
  
"Congratulations, boss."Â  Nick said automatically assuming she was going to take the job if offered to her.Â   
  
She just gave a weak smile and went back to find the place where she left off in the letter.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  Nick and Warrick, I have nothing to leave you except my  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  deepest respect and joint custody of my Big Mouth Billy  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  Bass."  
  
Catherine and the rest of the team laughed as she read the rest.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  Be sure and dust it once a week and change the batteries every  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  six months.Â   
  
Nick claimed custody for the first 6 months.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  God bless you all.Â  Be safe and supportive of each other.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  Maybe some day our paths will cross again.Â   
  
He signed it in his own hand,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â  Gris  
  
Then he added a P.S.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â  Warrick - Thanks for the cake.  
  
This last remark caused Warrick to laugh.  
  
"What?"Â  Catherine asked.  
  
"He told me once that when he left here there wouldn't be any cake in the break room, that he would just be gone." Warrick told them.  
  
Everyone laughed at the irony in this.Â   
  
But Greg couldn't believe that that was the end of the letter.Â  What about Sara he thought.Â  Then he asked, "Is that it?"Â   
  
Without looking up, Catherine said yes.Â  She didn't want to make eye contact with Sara; who everyone realized was not mentioned in the letter.Â  "How could you not mention her?" Catherine thought to herself, disappointed that he would do something so careless.  
  
Although Catherine avoided eye contact, the others looked at Sara with looks of pity.Â  Something she did not appreciate. "Don't look at me like that, he had a lot on his mind." She said trying to make an excuse for him.  
  
Catherine realized that Sara was uncomfortable so she decided to move on and see what else was in the envelope.  
  
There was a letter for Sr. Laura giving her power of attorney to handle the burial arrangements.Â  He was donating his Tahoe to the Shelter of Hope.Â  The money from the sale of his house was to be used  
  
to set up a scholarship program for the girls at the Shelter that wanted to go on to college.  
  
"Is that it?" Greg asked again.Â   
  
"I think so," Catherine said as she checked the envelope to be sure there was nothing left inside.Â  Then she noticed that there was something that had not fallen out with the other documents.Â   
  
She pulled out the last envelope and smiled widely, shaking her head.  
  
"What is it Catherine?" Warrick asked.  
  
"Sara," Catherine held the envelope out to her, "this is for you."Â   
  
Sara stood motionless, before stepping forward to accept the envelope, from Catherine.  
  
She stared at it while everyone else stared at her.Â  She started to open it.  
  
"You don't have to open it in here Sara."Â  Catherine told her.Â   
  
Sara felt that she had heard the message he left to them and they should hear the message he left for her.Â   
  
The first thing that was noticed is that Sara's letter was handwritten.Â  He did this as he wanted her to know that his message was personal.Â   
  
Sara read the letter out loud,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  Â  My dear Sara, how do I say good-bye?Â  I left a letter  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  with Catherine explaining why I was leaving.Â  Please try to  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  understand, and accept, why I have to do this.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  I have always been accused of not recognizing other  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  people's emotional needs.Â  I want you to know that I  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  wasn't as oblivious as people thought.Â  I noticed a lot  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  of things; it's just that I was never sure at how to  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  react.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  You may think that I never noticed you either as a CSI or a  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  woman.Â  I did.Â  As a CSI you're one of the best I've  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  ever worked with.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  As a woman, you have a charm about you that I did find  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  irresistible.Â  If not for the love I had for Jenna,  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  things could have been different.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  My wish for you is that you not live in theÂ   
  
One of the things she had in common with Gil was the ability to hide her emotions, but at this minute she was losing the battle.Â  She stopped reading, using the excuse that she couldn't read his handwriting.Â   
  
"Here, let me," Greg volunteered.Â  "I`m use to reading his instructions."Â  Then he stopped and added, "If that's okay with you?"  
  
"Yea, that's fine."Â  Sara told him.  
  
Greg scanned the letter to see where she left off.  
  
Â Â Â Â  My wish for you is that you not live in the past, as I did.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  You need to get your nose out of your work.Â  Look up once in  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  awhile, your destiny maybe standing right in front of you  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  and you're missing him.  
  
At that moment both Sara and Greg looked up and made eye contact with each other.Â  Greg quickly looked down and returned to the letter.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â  Be good to yourself,Â  Gil  
  
He then handed her back the letter.  
  
The phone rang.Â  It was Jim Brass.Â  He had gotten a special delivery letter also. He was calling to say it was time to get back to work.Â  They have an assignment.Â  Catherine told him that they were  
  
on their way. 


	17. Epilogue - New Beginnings

Two weeks after Gil Grissom left town there was a memorial service for his wife.Â  She was cremated and her ashes were buried at the same gravesite as her mother-in-law.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
After the memorial service the residents of the Shelter of Hope hosted a reception to celebrate Jenna's life and contribution to the Shelter.Â  It was at the reception that the announcement was made about the scholarship fund that was being started in her memory and financed by her husband.Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
At the luncheon, Catherine Willows announced to her CSI team that she was offered the supervisor position.Â  She also told them that sheÂ took Gil Grissom's advice and turned it down.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
She then informed them that when Paul Newsome found out that she turned the job down, so that she could spend more time with him and her daughter, he proposed marriage to her.Â  He had wanted to ask her for a long time, but felt that she was she was too tied up in her job to want to want to be tied down to a marriage.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Well, did you accept?" Sara asked.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â   
  
Catherine answered her by reaching into her pursue and placing the engagement ring on her finger.Â  The wedding was in 4 weeks and they were all invited.Â   
  
Â Â Â   
  
They promised her that they would be there.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
As they were leaving the luncheon they went and said good-bye to Sr. Laura, and the girls that put together the luncheon.Â  As they were leaving Sr. Laura said to Sara and Greg, "See on Monday."Â   
  
Â Â Â   
  
"We'll be here," they assured her.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"What was that all about?" Catherine inquired.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"We've volunteer to do some tutoring once a week," Greg told her.  
  
Â Â Â   
  
"Both of you?Â  Together?"Â  Nick Stokes asked.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"Yea." Sara answered him.  
  
Â Â Â Â   
  
"Well, it's a beginning," Catherine thought to herself.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown, realized that it was time for them to start to find an interest outside of work, also.Â  They promised themselves that would be their top priority.Â   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Brownville, North Carolina was a small rural town with a population of 5000 people. In September of 2002, Katie Franklin had returned to Brownville Senior High School as a student advisor and counselor.Â  It had been 6 years since she last taught at the school.Â  She stopped working when the first of her three children was born.Â  She was back at work as her husband died in a car accident a year ago, and for financial reasons, she needed to get back to work.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Mrs. Franklin was not the only new staff member at Brownville High, in the fall of 2002.Â  There was also a new science teacher; who in the first few weeks of school had already made an impression on  
  
his students.Â  He had an approach to science that they never experienced before.Â  He could relate a scientific explanation to just about anything that happens.Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
They were really impressed when he figured out which students were responsible for the practical joke played on him as well as being able to figure out how and when they did it.Â  They were more impressed when he said that this time he'd let it slide, but next time it was down to the principal's office.Â  There was something in his tone that made them realize he meant it.  
  
Â Â Â Â   
  
A month after school was in session Mr. Grissom was walking down the hallway, reading the science reports turned in by his first hour class, when he rounded the corner in the west hall and walked into  
  
Mrs. Franklin, causing her to drop a plastic flower vase, full of water, and spilling it all over her clothes.Â Â Â   
  
"I'm so sorry," he said.  
  
Â Â Â Â   
  
"Don't worry about, it's only water," she told him.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
"But, your all wet," he pointed out.  
  
Â   
  
He asked what he could do to make it up to her.Â  She suggested he take her out to dinner.Â  As soon as she made the invitation, she thought to herself, "What the heck!! are you doing?Â  You don't even know this man.Â  Take it back before he accepts."Â  But she didn't want to take it back.Â  There was something about him that she wanted to get to know better.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â   
  
In June of 2003, various residents of Las Vegas went to their mailboxes and opened a letter.Â  Inside was a wallet size picture of a very happy family.Â  Also inside was an invitation that read:  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Kathryn, Joshua and Terrance  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Invite you to the wedding of their mother  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Katherine Marie  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  To  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Gil Grissom  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  on Saturday August 16, 2003  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Written on the back of the invitation was a note from the groom-to-be:Â  I hope you can make it, Gris.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
All who received the invitation, made plans to attend.  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  THE END  
  
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  (FINALLY) 


End file.
